5 Years IS Something to Brag About

Not that many years ago if you told someone you were married for 5 years you would get a simple congratulations and that would be all. But today, 5 years is something to brag about…especially with a good, healthy, loving marriage that is only getting stronger by the day. Chris and I hit our 5 year mark yesterday. July 7, 2006 in Springfield, VT we got married at a small Victorian bed & breakfast in front of our immediate families, my grandma and my best friend. It was small, it was intimate, it was low-key, it was perfect. But one thing is for sure, it was just a day. Yes, an important day, but it breaks my heart when I see couples so focused on getting engaged and planning the wedding and not on building the foundations for a great marriage. Because honestly, marriage is stinkin hard. There are so many things working against you that taking a year (or 2) to plan a party and daydream about a dress is just asking for immediate problems.

Now don’t get me wrong, Chris and I are far from perfect. But we’re perfect for each other…and working on the things that aren’t perfect. It’s so important to keep marriage in the front of your mind at all times. The things you do and think about are either working towards your success or deterring from it. Sure the results aren’t right away, but the habits you build and things you justify now will build and build and overflow at some point. Communication is key and marriage has taught me that i’m HORRIBLE at communicating. I like tucking things away inside my head for no one to get to. I have the ability to forget but not forgive. I can be the queen of not saying what I mean and expecting my husband to just know what to do. Let’s be honest, most men don’t know what to do instinctively. They’re just not wired that way. So women need to learn to communicate in a way they understand. And at least for me, it doesn’t come natural. But that’s the fun thing about marriage. There is always something to be working on. No one has it all figured out and there won’t be a point where all is good forever and ever. Sure you may live happily ever after…but it’s because you’re creating it day by day with your partner.

So as I spend my day excited and getting ready for our anniversary date night tonight, here is my favorite topic on marriage, spoken about in a fun way. It explains why you ALWAYS need to be building your relationship…men and women are just too different to ever think you have it all figured out. Enjoy!

5 Years IS Something to Brag About

Not that many years ago if you told someone you were married for 5 years you would get a simple congratulations and that would be all. But today, 5 years is something to brag about…especially with a good, healthy, loving marriage that is only getting stronger by the day. Chris and I hit our 5 year mark yesterday. July 7, 2006 in Springfield, VT we got married at a small Victorian bed & breakfast in front of our immediate families, my grandma and my best friend. It was small, it was intimate, it was low-key, it was perfect. But one thing is for sure, it was just a day. Yes, an important day, but it breaks my heart when I see couples so focused on getting engaged and planning the wedding and not on building the foundations for a great marriage. Because honestly, marriage is stinkin hard. There are so many things working against you that taking a year (or 2) to plan a party and daydream about a dress is just asking for immediate problems.

Now don’t get me wrong, Chris and I are far from perfect. But we’re perfect for each other…and working on the things that aren’t perfect. It’s so important to keep marriage in the front of your mind at all times. The things you do and think about are either working towards your success or deterring from it. Sure the results aren’t right away, but the habits you build and things you justify now will build and build and overflow at some point. Communication is key and marriage has taught me that i’m HORRIBLE at communicating. I like tucking things away inside my head for no one to get to. I have the ability to forget but not forgive. I can be the queen of not saying what I mean and expecting my husband to just know what to do. Let’s be honest, most men don’t know what to do instinctively. They’re just not wired that way. So women need to learn to communicate in a way they understand. And at least for me, it doesn’t come natural. But that’s the fun thing about marriage. There is always something to be working on. No one has it all figured out and there won’t be a point where all is good forever and ever. Sure you may live happily ever after…but it’s because you’re creating it day by day with your partner.

So as I spend my day excited and getting ready for our anniversary date night tonight, here is my favorite topic on marriage, spoken about in a fun way. It explains why you ALWAYS need to be building your relationship…men and women are just too different to ever think you have it all figured out. Enjoy!

Take a Step Back

Every day I get closer to being a mom. And lately, it’s got me thinking a lot about my mom.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love my mom, always have, always will…but if I’m honest, I’ll admit that I don’t often think about her and what she’s done for me. But lately I have been. All of the dance practices she took me to and weekends away so I could compete. All of the ice cream she bought me when I didn’t win and the “dance gear” she bought me when I did. All of the dinners she cooked for me and lunches she packed. The toys she got me and the hours she spent taking care of me instead of working. Then later on all of the years she probably spent wondering why I didn’t like her and what she could have done differently. It’s a lot to think about if you haven’t thought about it much before.

Today my thoughts have gone passed the natural things she’s done and more towards the emotional/mental side of my mom. What does she think about when she’s all alone? Does she look in the mirror and think she’s pretty? Does she truly believe that she’s cherished and loved by my dad and the rest of us? What is she afraid of? Does she know that she’ll go to heaven when she dies? Is she afraid to die? Does she wish I were different?

The questions are endless. And maybe one day we’ll have the type of relationship that I can ask her these things. But we’ve never really been like that. I love her and we have fun when we get together, but we don’t really talk about these things. Which makes me wonder, what kind of relationship will I have with my daughter? Will she know that I believe I’m beautiful and that I know I’m cherished by my husband? I sure hope so.

In the end, I guess my point is that if we step back, we’ll often see people for much more than what we actually see with our eyes. And when we do that, we truly have the power to change any relationship…no matter what point they’re at.

You, Me & What’s in Between

Lately I’m reminded of the fact that humans were not meant to be alone. Not physically, not mentally, not emotionally and not spiritually. Sometimes it’s easier to keep to ourselves but ultimately it leads to self-destruction. We were created for fellowship. For relationships. For accountability.

I’m finding that the more I open up to people and put myself in a position of vulnerability – the better my life is. If you don’t tell people what’s going on, you’re robbing yourself of the opportunity for someone to speak positively into your life. Whether it’s a problem, a feeling or a thought that you need feedback on or something good that happened that someone else might need to hear. You never know what people need or what others can offer you until you put yourself in a position to find out.

Give it a shot. Take the challenge. Talk to someone about something personal. You might be surprised what doors will open.