Giving It Up

Lately I’ve been having some huge stomach problems. I’m talking randomly laying on the ground holding my stomach with tears in my eyes from the pain. So as all good husbands do, Chris went through the similarities in these occurrences to find the answer. Unfortunately, it seems my favorite drink may be the cause: coffee.

Have you ever had to give something up even though you really really like it? Isn’t it so painful to want something that’s bad for you? Especially when others can have it and it’s not a problem for them. I feel like this can be related to so many different things. But I’m hoping that as with the other things, this will eventually become easier.

But for now, I’m sad. I miss my coffee. I miss my morning caffeine. I miss the smell and taste.

That’s all – just wanted to share

Giving It Up

Lately I’ve been having some huge stomach problems. I’m talking randomly laying on the ground holding my stomach with tears in my eyes from the pain. So as all good husbands do, Chris went through the similarities in these occurrences to find the answer. Unfortunately, it seems my favorite drink may be the cause: coffee.

Have you ever had to give something up even though you really really like it? Isn’t it so painful to want something that’s bad for you? Especially when others can have it and it’s not a problem for them. I feel like this can be related to so many different things. But I’m hoping that as with the other things, this will eventually become easier.

But for now, I’m sad. I miss my coffee. I miss my morning caffeine. I miss the smell and taste.

That’s all – just wanted to share

Love, Hate and Coffee

I’m torn between 2 topics to write about. Both are weighing heavy on my heart and therefore I’ve decided to combine the two. Please excuse the chaos.

The past few mornings I’ve been waking up with “Praise the Lamb” – Alli Rogers stuck in my head. Not really hard to figure out why, it’s the song we’re presenting a dance to on Sunday in church. (All are welcome to come by the way! Sunday 10am @ connections church in wappingers falls). So this morning I woke up singing this song. Then realized my head was still pounding from the migraine I developed yesterday and I was going to take a sick day, so I went back to bed. When I re-awoke at 10:45am (yup!! haha it felt goood) I was singing a different tune. It was non other than the Beatles’ song “All you need is love.” Now it could be because every blog and tweet I read is chatting about the Beatles’ Rock Band coming out. Or it could be that my life is surrounded by love and although it’s not all I need, it sure is a big part of it. Comments/thoughts welcome on this!

Now this transitions me oh so horribly into my 2nd blog topic.

I have a love/hate relationship with coffee. My gosh I love the taste so much. I have a physical passion for it’s taste, a mental craving for it’s comfort and an emotional drawing because of past memories over coffee. However. I do know that it’s not good to literally love coffee. And I know that it’s the reason for the migraine I had for 20 hours over the past 2 days (yes, yikes).  Let me explain.

Coffee does not give me migraines. BUT coffee takes the place of drinking alternative beverages such as, oh I don’t know, WATER. My body is seriously dehydrated this past week due to my increasing consumption of coffee and therefore decreasing consumption of water. So little water + caffeine over 3 days = massive migraine.

So one would think that I would now be like “oh my gosh give me water.” I wish that were the case folks. I’m craving it so bad. It’s so hard to sit at home and not make myself a ginormous pot of coffee and refill my beautiful ceramic mug over and over again while watching the most ridiculous movies until Chris comes home. So I took the high road. The coffee stays in the jar, the mug stays on the shelf and a bottle of water is sitting in front of me. And this transitions me even worse than before into my last thought of the day.

This is the 3rd time in the past week or 2 that this thought came to mind, so I think I’ll share it with you. In life we’re usually given 2 options. We can take the high road or the low road. The hard choice or the easy choice. The wide or the narrow. Do you have it in you to choose the right one?

Dealing

I’ve realized over the years that people deal with situations & emotions differently. I know, it’s kind of like a “duh!” moment when thought about simply…but take a second and really think about it. How do you deal with things? Hurts, saddness, disappointment, excitement, anxiety, abandonment, resentment…

I find that it’s not so easy to analyze yourself. Sure you can think about your significant other, best friend, father and co-worker…but can you seriously think about it from a mirror perspective? It’s honestly not something I ever thought, or wanted, to do. But I did it accidentally not long ago. And again today.

When I was younger I hid in my walk-in closet. I’d take my (fill in negative emotion here) and shut myself in my closet. Bundled with blankets and a journal, I would cry and write myself out of how I was feeling…even if it took hours. Part of me hoped my parents would come in and make everything all better, and part of me hoped no one would notice I was gone. Sitting here at the age of 26 I realize that not much has changed. When something is wrong part of me hopes someone will reach out and try to help me, and part of me wishes everyone would disappear and leave me to my tranquil torture. But this time I traded my closet for my bed and added a hot cup of coffee. I don’t know what it is about coffee, but it just seems to make everything better. Or at least it feels that way for that short moment. That first sip is like a drag of a cigarette to a smoker, a first shot to a drinker, the first shake to a dancer, the first breath of fresh air to a runner, and the first tear to a crier. Now I’m not saying that it’s a healthy comfort…I’m just saying that the first taste of the thing you love is that tiny bit of hope that the future may not feel as horrible as the present feels.

And then, as with all tangible things, by the time you’re done with whatever it is you’re doing, you’ll have to face what drove you to this point…and make your first step towards fixing your future.