Little Red Ants

About 2 weeks ago I had to drop my car off at Mazda after the shop had closed, meaning I had to fill out that fun after-hours form and leave my keys in an envelope. Not a big deal. I grabbed an envelope and a pen from my purse and leaned on the stone wall next to the door while attempting to remember minor details such as my odometer reading (why do I NEVER look at it BEFORE filling out the form?) Anyway, as I’m filling out this horrible form (what color IS my car anyway? I always write Indigo because I really don’t know if it’s blue or purple), I realize there is a little red ant crawling next to the paper. EW. Wait. There is another..and another…and oh my gosh, without realizing it, I was leaning on a wall COVERED in little red ants.

How did I NOT see this before I started writing? Well the answer is simple. They’re teeny tiny ants and I wasn’t looking carefully at what I was doing.

How often in life do we do things like this? We have an agenda in our head and just jump right in without looking at our surroundings first. And then we’re surprised and appalled when we realize what we just put ourselves in the middle of. I hate to admit it, but I do it a lot. I assume that things are a certain way. I put my faith in things that aren’t promised to stay the same. I try to live in this non-existent world of everything being stable and un-changing and then I’m shocked when everything is different than I expect it to be.

I get hurt easily by assuming things. I make stupid mistakes because I don’t look at the CURRENT situation first. Like with the ant wall. Just because there were no ants on the wall last time I was at Mazda, sure doesn’t guarantee that there would be no ants that day. So why did I not look? I wish I knew. How do you live a life completely aware of your surroundings? I’m on a mission to find out.

Little Red Ants

About 2 weeks ago I had to drop my car off at Mazda after the shop had closed, meaning I had to fill out that fun after-hours form and leave my keys in an envelope. Not a big deal. I grabbed an envelope and a pen from my purse and leaned on the stone wall next to the door while attempting to remember minor details such as my odometer reading (why do I NEVER look at it BEFORE filling out the form?) Anyway, as I’m filling out this horrible form (what color IS my car anyway? I always write Indigo because I really don’t know if it’s blue or purple), I realize there is a little red ant crawling next to the paper. EW. Wait. There is another..and another…and oh my gosh, without realizing it, I was leaning on a wall COVERED in little red ants.

How did I NOT see this before I started writing? Well the answer is simple. They’re teeny tiny ants and I wasn’t looking carefully at what I was doing.

How often in life do we do things like this? We have an agenda in our head and just jump right in without looking at our surroundings first. And then we’re surprised and appalled when we realize what we just put ourselves in the middle of. I hate to admit it, but I do it a lot. I assume that things are a certain way. I put my faith in things that aren’t promised to stay the same. I try to live in this non-existent world of everything being stable and un-changing and then I’m shocked when everything is different than I expect it to be.

I get hurt easily by assuming things. I make stupid mistakes because I don’t look at the CURRENT situation first. Like with the ant wall. Just because there were no ants on the wall last time I was at Mazda, sure doesn’t guarantee that there would be no ants that day. So why did I not look? I wish I knew. How do you live a life completely aware of your surroundings? I’m on a mission to find out.

A Change of Seasons…and I don’t mean Winter into Spring

My favorite part of any church service is the worship part. Hands down, it’s my favorite way to connect with God.  The combination of spirit-filled lyrics, a catchy beat and the high energy of a room full of Jesus lovers is the ultimate high. But what happens when the lights come on, your ear isn’t next to the pumping speakers and no one is sitting next to you? Little did I know, I was about to find out.

Let me back up a little. I’ve been saved for 5 years as of a week ago. I spiritually “grew up” in the youth group of my old church. First as a girl who had a crush on a guy in the worship band. Then as the girlfriend of the guy in the worship band. Then as the married girl who ran the dance ministry. Then as a youth leader to the younger youth group. And lastly as a young adult group active member/assistant leader of a new dance ministry. So needless to say (or maybe not), the past 5 years my idea of worship has centered around bands, loud music, concerts, weekend events like Battle Cry and The Revolve Tour, conferences, dance presentations and being in the front row surrounded by people my age spiritually raised the same way. Can you relate?

Well fast forward to the new Jess…the married, pregnant girl in a new church surrounded by people of all different ages who know nothing about her. It’s a weird place to be in! But yesterday God spoke to me about it and I’m positive this isn’t a message just for myself. So listen up!

Due to the warmth of a packed room with lights and sound galore, my pregnant body decided my usual worship atmosphere that I love so much wasn’t going to be in my norm anymore. Instead, I spent the entire church service seated in the downstairs cafe surrounded by youth leaders updating the church twitter feed, babies with their parents, older people who think the music upstairs is too loud and a few random people walking in and out to work at the ministry fair. I wasn’t too thrilled with baby Charlotte doing this to me lol. I thought to myself “how can I get into worship in this quiet room where the music is played through speakers and service is on a screen while I sit with my feet up on a chair while I sip my tea? Everyone upstairs is experiencing God together and I’m down here lounging. How is this any different than the people who don’t go to church but watch it on TV? I’m going to have to work extra hard to hear from God on my own time because church as a new mom isn’t going to be what I need it to be.”

And then I think God had enough of me. Because I immediately knew I had to shut my thoughts up, close my eyes, and learn to worship in a different way. And let me tell you, it took me a whole 5 minutes to figure out my problem. My problem was that I thought worship was the music, the excitement, the atmosphere and God….but I quickly learned that worship is an attitude and a condition of the heart above all else. It doesn’t matter if you’re sitting in a cafe or if you’re on a stage in front of thousands of people. God WILL speak to you and you CAN love Him and worship Him and praise Him from anywhere at anytime. And to be honest, since I was comfortable, I think God was able to reach me more easily than He has in a while. I was open to every word being spoken. I slowly got over the strangeness of raising my hands while sitting in a cafe with a handful of people and I look forward to many more services with my feet on a chair and a nice breeze passing through the room. And the funniest part? When the pastor tells the church body to stand to their feet, everyone downstairs does it too. When it’s time to pray, they pray too. Everything going on upstairs, goes on downstairs as well. It’s a different atmosphere, but it’s the same heart.

And God did answer my question: How is this any different than the people who don’t go to church but watch it on TV? The difference is that I was still a part of the church. After service ended Chris and I got to meet the pastors sitting downstairs at the table next to us who then introduced us to people they thought we’d be interested in meeting. We were able to love on others even more than if we were upstairs in a crowded room where we didn’t know how to meet people. In the end, there was nothing different about service downstairs except that it’s where I’m called to be right now.

So what should you get out of this? You should learn that worship is not about where you are, it’s about who you are. And to never think that God can’t speak to you or use you just because your situation has changed. There are many seasons in life and unfortunately, when a new season begins we have a tendency to fight it, challenge it, fear it and question God. But the truth is, without seasons, life would be very stale, boring and predictable. So wherever you are in life and your walk with God, enjoy your season. Whether it’s the beginning, middle or end, just know, it may change…and God will be there to help you transition through it. Just be open to it.

New Updates on the Changes!

Hopefully you’re keeping up with all of the changes going on in my life.  If not catch up: Part I and Part II

All caught up? Good. Because it’s time Part III.

• Change #1: We’re moving. Update: We started looking into renting houses and larger apartments. We made a lot of calls. 3 places called us back. 1 we didn’t like the location so we never went to see it. 1 we drove past the location and decided we didn’t want to see it. And the last was an apartment complex in the village of the town we currently live in. They had 1 large 2 bedroom apartment available (something that sounds very uncommon to this complex). We went to see it and felt it was perfect for us. So we took it and it’s ours as of April 15th Oh and by the way, it’s larger than our current place AND cheaper! Moving Change: almost complete.
• Change #2 – We’re pregnant. Update: 6+ months now and all is still well. We’re finishing our registry today and I’m told the baby shower invites are going out this week. I’m getting a bit nervous to be a mom but I hear that’s normal. Life Change: only a few months left.
• Change #3 – Chris’ job change. Update: 1 of the 2 interviews he had offered him a job and he accepted. From the start I had felt that he’d get a job by the end of February and it would be a certain figure. He got this call at the end of February and it’s about $1,500 more than the salary I thought. God is good. He starts on March 29th and won’t have the crazy long commute he has right now. And that nice severance check goes right into our savings account. He didn’t skip a beat with pay checks! Job Change: almost complete.




• Change #4 – We’re switching churches. Update: We’ve made the active decision to become plugged-in regulars at our new church. Since then our pastor “randomly” approached us to get to know us better and find out how he can help us meet people and find our place. We’re looking forward to checking out some home groups in the next couple of weeks and being apart of what’s going on. We also started going to the “pre-service” worship service and have enjoyed every minute of it.  Also, with the location of Chris’ new job and our new apartment, we won’t have to find a new church as we knew was possible. Church Change: complete.

Conclusion/Life Lessons on Change: I’m a lot stronger than I knew. My faith in God is a lot stronger than I knew. I have no clue how we would have done this without knowing the value of faith and prayer. I have an amazing husband.

A Welcome Season

Is it me or are people really looking forward to Fall this year? Maybe people usually do…but I have to say that people are much more vocal about it this year. But the thing is, it’s not just excitement about the weather and long sleeve shirts…it’s almost this desperate hope for a new season…a season of change.

Fall is representing the refreshing breeze that it guarantees to deliver. Maybe things will be different now. Life will be different. Things will start looking up.

I’m talking to people who are tired of being down. They’re tired of the negative. They’re tired of the recession. They’re ready for hope. They’re ready for change. And it’s a good place to be. Because people are getting to a place where things will change and miracles will happen. Just wait and see. Faith, hope and expectation can change everything.