But it seems that there is another type of faith active in my life that I’m NOT so confident in. It’s the faith that says “okay, I know that I can take this into my own hands, but maybe that’s not the best idea.” It’s having an answer in your head but then wondering if it’s the BEST answer. It’s the kind of faith that determines how bumpy your path is as opposed to if it’s the right path. It’s putting aside what you think is best and asking God what IS best. And I’m finding that this is a really hard thing to do. I’m underdeveloped in this area but I know God is starting to say “come on Jess, you need to work on this”…and so I am.

So it seems that I have no problem moving across the country with no money but I do have a problem choosing when to say no to something when I want to say yes. Does anyone else have faith issues? I’d love to hear!

The tricky thing about being human is that we were created with these amazing brains. They have this miraculous way of connecting to our mouth and connecting to our heart but not always connecting the 3 together. This is where the problems arise.

I haven’t figured out exactly what God wants me to learn from all of this today – but I know there is going to be something revealed if I let him reveal it. Because the truth is, I don’t think many people go a day or 2 without being deceived by their own motives and desires. I might say that I’m over something, but my heart screams otherwise when I sit down and think about the situation. I might smile at someone I don’t like and tell myself that I’ve chosen to love them but what am I thinking about as soon as they do something annoying again? How fickle are my emotions and do I let those emotions control me and my actions? Do I tell myself one thing HOPING that one day I’ll actually feel that way?

All stuff to think about. And I’m sure your questions are different but along the same path. Take some time to think about it. Pray about it. Figure out what your REAL desires are and what you’re incorrectly believing.

I’m going to leave you today with a little phrase that’s been sitting on my desk since I started my job over 4 years ago. “What’s my motive?”

Think about it. If we think about our true desires and motives before letting our emotions control our mouths, how much better off would we be right now?

Oh to be cared for.

Oh to be carefree.

Oh to be loved.

Oh to be hopeful.

Oh to be optimistic.

Oh to be joyful.

Oh to be loved.

Oh to be considered.

Oh to be acknowledged.

Oh to be looked towards.

Oh to be loved.

“I love those who love me, And those who seek me diligently will find me.” – Proverbs 8:17

^“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.”

- Galatians 6: 9-10

The other day I was reading my Bible and had to stop when I came across this scripture. Ever read something and think you know what it means, but then one day see it under a new and different light? Well I did this day. I understand the whole don’t give up part. I understand the do good part. I even understand the “to all people” part. But what about that last part that we quickly read to finish the sentence? “Especially to those who belong to the family of believers.”

Now why in the world does it say that? It just said to do good to all people. That includes believers. Why repeat it? Well if there’s one thing I’ve learned about God’s word, it’s that He doesn’t repeat things unless they’re important and need to be called out. So that brings me to today’s thought. Why is it that people reading the bible (Christians) have to be told to do good to those who belong to the family of believers (Christians)? Seems to me, Christians fighting Christians isn’t a new thing. People arguing and backstabbing that believe in the same God isn’t a new concept. It’s sad that we need to be reminded that of course we should do good to the poor and needy and searching and lost…but also our brothers and sisters in Christ. We can’t take them for granted or treat them any different than we would the cashier we just smiled at. Christians ignoring other Christians or not reaching out to them because they’re already saved is the most bogus concept I’ve ever heard…yet it happens so often that we excuse it. We think saving the lost and witnessing to others is more important than doing good to our kinda needy, annoying Christian brother.

I think it’s time Christians start looking at their actions towards EVERYONE and see what it really looks like.

Bradley Hathaway, a writer,/poet/ singer/songwriter from Arkansas has a poem entitled “On Being Joyful and Content” that explains joy in such a great way that I’m doing my post today referencing it. You can watch/read it below. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

I’m ecstatic!

and my thoughts
are
uncontrollably
sporadic!

Yet centered around one center

Joy.

In plush ripe tones
joy is rushing through my bones!

If joy were a color
it would be purple
pastel
pretty

Like old women and young children
both wear on Easter

Smiling while having deviled eggs
and drinking kool-aid

Chasing blown bubbles
in the backyard

The young ones’ distracting hats
fly off…

And the old ones laugh
a contagious laughter
that is to be shared
by everyone there

The sun
shines down upon them
as all of their physical imperfections
gleam
beautifully

and inside
inside
I feel like this
and I look outside my window
and imagine the
future purple pastel pretty
moments of joy
that I will one day have with my wife.
My Children.
My friends.
My family.

I really look forward to those moments.
But I am thankful for the one
that I am having right now.
this morning.

Alone.
On my couch.

Overwhelmed by Joy.

Before I end this post, I’d like to pray for my readers. I know it’s not a common thing on my blog, but I feel led to…so I will. I hope that you will read it slowly and pray it in your heart as well.

“Dear Lord of all things – I pray for my readers. Each and everyone one of them. Whether they know you or not. I know that you know them. And I know that you believe in them. And I know that you want them to experience the type of joy that only comes from you and you alone. I pray that each one of their hearts starts to fill with this love and joy. That it builds and builds and lives within their soul. It reaches to points that they can’t touch and can’t understand. They just know that it’s there. From the first smile during a bad situation to a compassion for their enemies that they just don’t understand. I pray that we all have an increase of the joy that’s found in knowing, loving and worshiping you. Amen”

Although I realize it’s perfectly normal to be hormonally imbalanced at this point in my life, I’ve also been made aware that I don’t have to give in to it. I can fight against the urge to throw keys at an annoying landlord office worker and not cry in the middle of Home Depot. I can wake up with a sore back and do some stretches to make it better. I can look at the rainy sky and completely stopped traffic and breathe a sigh of relief that I’m still happy, healthy and loved. Attitude and control really can make such a difference in my life if I give them the power to do so.

And then earlier today I realized that it’s not just me that God is speaking to about this…the rest of my post is from my bloggy friend’s post. And I swear, we didn’t talk about this. Take a read below and read the full post here:

It’s hard to be upset and play the victim role when you know God knows what He is doing. So we choose to trust in Him. We choose to stay positive. We choose whether we allow outside drama into our lives. We choose whether we allow ourselves to take our eyes off God and instead look at the worldly ways. We choose to find the good along with the bad.

While we may not always be able to choose our circumstances, we can choose our reaction to them.

We can choose our attitude.

……….I love the following quote by Charles R. Swindoll……..

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.

Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company… a church… a home.

The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.

We cannot change our past… we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.

I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you… we are in charge of our Attitudes.

So.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
what do you choose?

Let me back up a little. I’ve been saved for 5 years as of a week ago. I spiritually “grew up” in the youth group of my old church. First as a girl who had a crush on a guy in the worship band. Then as the girlfriend of the guy in the worship band. Then as the married girl who ran the dance ministry. Then as a youth leader to the younger youth group. And lastly as a young adult group active member/assistant leader of a new dance ministry. So needless to say (or maybe not), the past 5 years my idea of worship has centered around bands, loud music, concerts, weekend events like Battle Cry and The Revolve Tour, conferences, dance presentations and being in the front row surrounded by people my age spiritually raised the same way. Can you relate?

Well fast forward to the new Jess…the married, pregnant girl in a new church surrounded by people of all different ages who know nothing about her. It’s a weird place to be in! But yesterday God spoke to me about it and I’m positive this isn’t a message just for myself. So listen up!

Due to the warmth of a packed room with lights and sound galore, my pregnant body decided my usual worship atmosphere that I love so much wasn’t going to be in my norm anymore. Instead, I spent the entire church service seated in the downstairs cafe surrounded by youth leaders updating the church twitter feed, babies with their parents, older people who think the music upstairs is too loud and a few random people walking in and out to work at the ministry fair. I wasn’t too thrilled with baby Charlotte doing this to me lol. I thought to myself “how can I get into worship in this quiet room where the music is played through speakers and service is on a screen while I sit with my feet up on a chair while I sip my tea? Everyone upstairs is experiencing God together and I’m down here lounging. How is this any different than the people who don’t go to church but watch it on TV? I’m going to have to work extra hard to hear from God on my own time because church as a new mom isn’t going to be what I need it to be.”

And then I think God had enough of me. Because I immediately knew I had to shut my thoughts up, close my eyes, and learn to worship in a different way. And let me tell you, it took me a whole 5 minutes to figure out my problem. My problem was that I thought worship was the music, the excitement, the atmosphere and God….but I quickly learned that worship is an attitude and a condition of the heart above all else. It doesn’t matter if you’re sitting in a cafe or if you’re on a stage in front of thousands of people. God WILL speak to you and you CAN love Him and worship Him and praise Him from anywhere at anytime. And to be honest, since I was comfortable, I think God was able to reach me more easily than He has in a while. I was open to every word being spoken. I slowly got over the strangeness of raising my hands while sitting in a cafe with a handful of people and I look forward to many more services with my feet on a chair and a nice breeze passing through the room. And the funniest part? When the pastor tells the church body to stand to their feet, everyone downstairs does it too. When it’s time to pray, they pray too. Everything going on upstairs, goes on downstairs as well. It’s a different atmosphere, but it’s the same heart.

And God did answer my question: How is this any different than the people who don’t go to church but watch it on TV? The difference is that I was still a part of the church. After service ended Chris and I got to meet the pastors sitting downstairs at the table next to us who then introduced us to people they thought we’d be interested in meeting. We were able to love on others even more than if we were upstairs in a crowded room where we didn’t know how to meet people. In the end, there was nothing different about service downstairs except that it’s where I’m called to be right now.

So what should you get out of this? You should learn that worship is not about where you are, it’s about who you are. And to never think that God can’t speak to you or use you just because your situation has changed. There are many seasons in life and unfortunately, when a new season begins we have a tendency to fight it, challenge it, fear it and question God. But the truth is, without seasons, life would be very stale, boring and predictable. So wherever you are in life and your walk with God, enjoy your season. Whether it’s the beginning, middle or end, just know, it may change…and God will be there to help you transition through it. Just be open to it.

———————————————-

Victory is on the Other Side of Failure

by Glynnis Whitwer

“The angel said to the women, ‘Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said.’” Matthew 28:5-6a (NIV)

Told by a teacher he was too stupid to learn: Thomas Edison

Fired from his job at a newspaper because he didn’t have good ideas: Walt Disney

A music teacher told him he had no hope as a composer: Beethoven

Falsely accused, arrested, killed: Jesus Christ

The disciples of Jesus must have been shattered that Friday. For three years they followed the man from Nazareth. They watched Him heal the sick, restore sight to the blind, and even raise people from the dead. When Jesus said, “I have come as Light into the world, so that everyone who believes in Me will not remain in darkness ” (John 12:46, NAS), they got it. Darkness enveloped the hearts of their countrymen. They needed a “Light.”

Twelve ordinary men abandoned everything to follow Jesus: jobs, family, and homes. Not with regret, but with hope. Hope for the promise Jesus offered. Look where it got them that Friday. Good Friday, we call it now. But it was anything but good to them. Jesus was dead – they’d witnessed the crucifixion. Only 11 now, they must have gathered that night after scattering throughout the city. Other followers joined them to mourn the death of the man they loved, and the death of the hope He offered.

On Saturday, they still gathered. No one left – though they could have. They could have packed up their things and put this failed adventure behind them. Back to fishing, back to family, back to normal. But no one left. In spite of what appeared to be complete failure of this new kingdom, everyone stayed. Faithful.

Saturday inched forward to noon, dusk, and then evening. The beauty of the night sky didn’t ease their pain. Perhaps they reminisced some. In hindsight, Jesus wasn’t really what they were expecting. When the prophets of old foretold a king would come to rescue them, they figured it would be someone imposing, with power, maybe with chariots to whip their enemies into submission. Some took longer than others to readjust their expectations. But when God opened their eyes to the beauty of His plan, they bought into it with their lives.

I’m sure troubled thoughts stole their sleep that Saturday night. Finally, in complete exhaustion their tired bodies overtook their worried minds. Sunday morning dawned. I imagine some woke up hoping it was all a bad dream. Then reality settled in, like heavy summer storm clouds. Jesus was still dead.

Two women got ready first and went to the tomb. Expecting to find the body of their beloved Savior, God treated them instead to a display of His power. With a violent earthquake shaki ng the ground, an angel of the Lord came from heaven, rolled back the stone covering the tomb and sat down on the rock. Hello!

The angel looked at the women, and spoke words that transformed them from hopeless to hope-filled: “Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. Then go quickly and tell his disciples: He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee” (Matthew 28:5-7a, NIV).

Can you even imagine the celebration? It had only looked like failure. Instead, it was glorious victory! Hope wasn’t dead. Jesus was alive! The disciples learned a lesson they would never forget: When God is involved, things aren’t always what they seem.

Today we see problems and failures with the same eyes as the disciples. Even knowing that God is able to do things beyond what we can imagine, when we look at a “failure,” we often only see an ending. God, however, sees an opportunity for a new beginning. As we celebrate Easter, may that truth nestle itself into our heart. With God all things are possible. He is risen!

Dear Lord, my heart is filled with thanksgiving and praise for You. How can I begin to thank You for sending Jesus, and for His sacrifice for me? Thank You also for the lesson that nothing is too big for You. Help me remember that truth when I’m facing what looks like failure. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
This devotion is adapted from a chapter on helping your children deal with failure in Glynnis’ book,When Your Child is Hurting

Do You Know Him?

Visit Glynnis’ blog – Welcome Home…Where Your Heart Longs to be!

The Character of God: Understanding His Heart for Us by Brian T. Anderson & Glynnis Whitwer

For more on the love of Christ, read The Most Beautiful Scars

Application Steps:
Have you had any “failures” in your life? Pick one that sticks out to you. Identify how God used that situation to open another door in your life, or redirect your path to something better. Then thank Him for His goodness.

Reflections:
From God’s perspective, what is true failure?

When you have failed in the past, what have people done or said that was most helpful to you at that time?

Power Verses:
Luke 18:27, “Jesus replied, ‘What is impossible with men is possible with God.’” (NIV)

Isaiah 40:31, “But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” (NIV)

Now since I know you’re lazy and probably won’t click on the link above, I’ve made it easy by also posting her blog here. Take a moment to read it and reflect on how Jesus’ sacrifice has affected your life. And if you come up with nothing, maybe it’s time you find out how it CAN affect your life. There is no time like right now to find out what He did for you…whether you wanted it or not.

—————————–

I’m not sure why I’m particularly aware of Good Friday this year. Maybe it’s because this year I’m particularly aware of the wretched, broken person I am – the one desperately needing a Savior. Or maybe it’s because our pastor encouraged us to linger at the cross this year – to reflect and remember the how and the why.

Regardless of the reason, I think it will be hard to imagine today as the day darkness fell – it’s going to be 86 degrees and perfectly sunny. But it’s not hard to imagine today as the day that all seemed lost.

In a world where little is certain and nations war and children starve and death seems final, it’s not hard to imagine – to feel – this as the day of despair.

But as easy as it is to imagine today as the day when Satan seemed to have the upper hand, we know the rest of the story.

It’s Friday – only Friday. Sunday’s coming.

And on Sunday, hope wins.

That was the answer to the 20 minute prayer I had. To take a deep breathe and relax. To just trust Him the way that I say I do.

He then showed me (while driving) how a highway has 3 lanes: The fast lane, the middle lane and the slow lane. He asked me which lane I thought I should be in. I admitted that I’m usually in the middle lane, using the fast lane for passing any annoying driver. I rarely use the slow lane. He then showed me a deeper look at these 3 lanes. The fast lane has extreme ups and downs. People drive as fast as traffic will allow but are often found slamming on their breaks, swerving and using the other 2 lanes to get around people in their way. They’re often anxious and easily bothered by those around them. Other cars cause an inconvenience to them. The value of their time and destination is the only thing on their mind. The middle lane is like a fence warmer. They often use the fast and slow lane depending on how the other people around them are driving. It’s usually a fairly steady drive but you have to constantly be aware of people cutting you off and coming in and out of your lane. You also have to beware of the fast lane drivers who decide to cross your lane in order to get to the slow lane for exiting last minute. Although it seems to be a safe middle lane, it actually requires more attention and focus than you might think. It’s not fast and it’s not slow, it’s a bit warm and uneasy. The slow lane is where you often see people cruising with a smile on their face. They’re not in a rush and are only cut off by the occasional driver who uses the slow lane as a way to bypass the middle lane “slow” drivers. The slow lane gives you the most control and peace as you can see the scenery around you and be prepared for your exit when the time comes.

So God challenged me: which lane AM I in and which lane do I WANT to be in? Turns out, I want to be a slow lane driver. So I did just that. I got out of the rush hour traffic and joined the lane often held by the elderly and big trucks. And I can’t say it wasn’t challenging to not try and join the cars zooming by to my left, but it sure was peaceful driving at my own pace. Maybe the old people aren’t so much slow drivers…it’s just that they’ve lived long enough to know that the fast lane doesn’t REALLY get you to where you want to be in the end. It just keeps you in the flow of the things that seem important at the time.