“She’s Got a Mouth on Her!”
“She’s got a mouth on her!”..definitely a phrase I’ve heard before but have never heard it used in my direction. Sure I have a mouth but it’s always been polite, truthful and one to be proud of. Heh okay, maybe I’m somewhere in between. Where do you stand?
I wasn’t going to set a New Year’s resolution but it seems God had a different plan. Right after the new year He told me to stop gossiping. WHAT? ME? I’m not a gossip! *Immediate offense begins.* But the thing I’ve learned about God is that He’s always right, whether I agree or not. So it took me a few days but finally I decided to ask Him “okay, how am I a gossip? I don’t see it.” And since then I’ve noticed the little things that I do and say that aren’t pleasing to Him.
In the dictionary, the meaning of gossip is “a person who habitually reveals personal or sensational facts about others” or “rumor or report of an intimate nature”. Still, I didn’t think that was me. I’m really not known for walking around telling secrets and blabbing about who said and did what with ill intentions. But the thing is, the bible’s definition of gossip is a lot more cumbersome than the dictionary’s. God definitely holds us Christians to a higher standard. The bible teaches us that our words should not be idle and should be pleasing to God. Our words should build others up, not put others down. Our words should be spoken in love for ALL and never be boastful or full of pride. Fairly quickly I understood what I’ve been doing wrong.
It’s not that I’m a gossip in the worldly sense, but the truth is, many things come from my heart and out of my mouth that are not pleasing to God. You see, your words can go in 2 directions: pleasing to God or not pleasing to God. I’m pretty sure there isn’t a third option of “eh, I guess that’s okay” or “I really don’t care about that.” If God cares about every single hair on our head, I think he probably cares about every word we speak. Sure, giving someone a recipe could probably fall in that “I don’t care” category, but seeing as you’re sharing something positive with someone else without any pride in your heart, I think that’s probably a “pleasing” conversation. See what I mean?
Whenever God puts something like this on my heart I start doing research on what I could possibly do to change. Of course pray and ask God to change me but I’m a bit more of an action person than a “wait for a change” person. So I found a devotional called “30 Days to Taming Your Tongue” and have committed to reading a chapter each day and doing an evaluation of what came out of my mouth every night. I’m also journaling any reflections I have or things I feel from God about this. I don’t have much to report as I’m only on day 3 but I must say that I’ve already become more aware of the good and bad things I do/say each day.
I propose a challenge to you. Take an account of 1 day of your life. Evaluate the things you say and the intent to which you speak them. Take a look at your motive during conversations and the way you TRULY feel about certain things/people, whether you say them or not. And if you find things that aren’t up to the standard you think they should be, commit to changing. It’s a hard hard thing to do as a woman, but seeing as at the end of our life we’ll have to give an account of EVERY word spoken, it’s definitely a journey worth taking.
“She’s Got a Mouth on Her!”
“She’s got a mouth on her!”..definitely a phrase I’ve heard before but have never heard it used in my direction. Sure I have a mouth but it’s always been polite, truthful and one to be proud of. Heh okay, maybe I’m somewhere in between. Where do you stand?
I wasn’t going to set a New Year’s resolution but it seems God had a different plan. Right after the new year He told me to stop gossiping. WHAT? ME? I’m not a gossip! *Immediate offense begins.* But the thing I’ve learned about God is that He’s always right, whether I agree or not. So it took me a few days but finally I decided to ask Him “okay, how am I a gossip? I don’t see it.” And since then I’ve noticed the little things that I do and say that aren’t pleasing to Him.
In the dictionary, the meaning of gossip is “a person who habitually reveals personal or sensational facts about others” or “rumor or report of an intimate nature”. Still, I didn’t think that was me. I’m really not known for walking around telling secrets and blabbing about who said and did what with ill intentions. But the thing is, the bible’s definition of gossip is a lot more cumbersome than the dictionary’s. God definitely holds us Christians to a higher standard. The bible teaches us that our words should not be idle and should be pleasing to God. Our words should build others up, not put others down. Our words should be spoken in love for ALL and never be boastful or full of pride. Fairly quickly I understood what I’ve been doing wrong.
It’s not that I’m a gossip in the worldly sense, but the truth is, many things come from my heart and out of my mouth that are not pleasing to God. You see, your words can go in 2 directions: pleasing to God or not pleasing to God. I’m pretty sure there isn’t a third option of “eh, I guess that’s okay” or “I really don’t care about that.” If God cares about every single hair on our head, I think he probably cares about every word we speak. Sure, giving someone a recipe could probably fall in that “I don’t care” category, but seeing as you’re sharing something positive with someone else without any pride in your heart, I think that’s probably a “pleasing” conversation. See what I mean?
Whenever God puts something like this on my heart I start doing research on what I could possibly do to change. Of course pray and ask God to change me but I’m a bit more of an action person than a “wait for a change” person. So I found a devotional called “30 Days to Taming Your Tongue” and have committed to reading a chapter each day and doing an evaluation of what came out of my mouth every night. I’m also journaling any reflections I have or things I feel from God about this. I don’t have much to report as I’m only on day 3 but I must say that I’ve already become more aware of the good and bad things I do/say each day.
I propose a challenge to you. Take an account of 1 day of your life. Evaluate the things you say and the intent to which you speak them. Take a look at your motive during conversations and the way you TRULY feel about certain things/people, whether you say them or not. And if you find things that aren’t up to the standard you think they should be, commit to changing. It’s a hard hard thing to do as a woman, but seeing as at the end of our life we’ll have to give an account of EVERY word spoken, it’s definitely a journey worth taking.
Last Post was October 2011 – until TODAY!
Hello any followers I have left! haha. To say I took an unplanned hiatus is a bit of an understatement. I really had no plan on abandoning my blog but God had a different plan. In early October 2011 I found out I was pregnant with our 2nd child! We were so excited, but then that excitement wore off within days when the morning ALL DAY sickness kicked in…bad. In addition to the oh so common “morning sickness,” I got a sinus infection/cold that didn’t go away for 2 weeks. It made functioning incredibly hard. My throat was swelled up for almost 2 weeks, making it impossible to swallow pills. This made it impossible to take my prenatal pills and without those little pills my hormones and emotions went topsy-turvy and I got really depressed. It took a good month to really get my mental state back to where it should be, but the all day sickness continued. So with the holidays, a very happy but attention-needing toddler who only naps once/day and a very early bedtime thanks to that growing fetus inside my belly, this blog wasn’t on my to-do list.
BUT the good news is that I’m almost 17 weeks, have regained my energy and lost most of the sickness, and am going to attempt to be posting again 
That’s the biggest update in my life. Little Miss Charlotte is almost 19 months and is as cute as ever. She’s running all around, coloring on everything, dances whenever she hears music and enjoys making music with her daddy in his studio. She’s also talking a lot and communicating with us so life in that sense has gotten a lot easier.
Hubbie is doing great – working at the same job and going for more certifications. He’s been doing a lot of studio work and is releasing his first full length album in just a few months! In addition he’ll be going back to Ottawa (sans family this time) to play 2 gigs in 1 night So exciting!
With the holidays my couponing seemed to have slowed down but I’m happy to report that the budget wasn’t broken too badly and our family is still completely debt-free, including car payments! We’ve even started saving for Charlotte’s college…something we didn’t know would be possible on 1 income but that’s God for ya! Such an amazing way to live life!
And as for God in our lives, well He’s definitely been working hard picking up the slack that this pregnancy has caused. I don’t think I’ve mentioned that in September I became a Sunday School teacher at my church for the 4-5th graders and love every minute of it. They’re full of ideas and energy but aren’t to the point of being jaded with worldly confusion and opinions…it has really been a wonderful experience. I have 2 high school aged assistants who make my life 10x easier and I’m so blessed to have them in my life (and classroom)!
So I think you’re all caught up on my life. Hope your holidays went well and I hope to be posting a bit more frequently, at least until the new baby arrives in June
Me & Charlotte
Christmas 2011
I Haven’t Got Time for the Pain
I’ve been sorting through some emotions and issues over the past week and I must say, this devotional fits right in so I thought I’d share it with you.
*Disclaimer: As I’ve mentioned before, I’m in no way affiliated with Proverbs 31 Ministries, just a huge fan.
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I Haven’t Got Time for the Pain by Renee Swope
a Proverbs 31 Ministries Devotional
“In my distress I called to the LORD; I cried to my God for help.” Psalm 18:6a (NIV, 1984)
I knew I needed to talk with someone about the pain that was still buried in my heart, but I didn’t want to talk about it. I was tired of hurting and afraid I’d fall apart or slip back into depression if I let it all come to the surface.
I didn’t have time for falling apart. Plus it was in the past and I thought it would eventually just go away.
Have you ever avoided dealing with pain because it would take too much time? Or have you tried to pray away the pain only to realize healing is a process, but one you’re not sure you want to go through?
Although we can’t go back and change circumstances or relationships that wounded us, we can go back and process our pain with Jesus. In fact, we won’t heal from our hurts unless we do.
When left unresolved, the pain from our yesterdays can creep up in our todays and keep us from experiencing all God has for our tomorrows.
This happened in my relationship with my husband several years into our marriage. I don’t know exactly when it started, I just remember feeling a lot of anger and realizing I had a critical spirit towards JJ.
One day I sensed God showing me damaged emotions from my childhood I hadn’t dealt with or healed from. Circumstances that happened in my past were now hindering my present, casting shadows of fear and doubt over my future.
I decided to make a time line of my life, marking key “emotional” events. As I prayed over it, I wrote down any painful emotions and memories I could remember.
Although it wasn’t easy, I asked the Holy Spirit to remind me of experiences and relationships that had wounded me, what affects they’d had on me, how far from God they took me and how they had hurt me and others.
Years of disappointment as a child in a broken home with a broken heart led to a significant sense of loss. Yet, I never grieved the happily-ever-after I longed for but didn’t have. Unfulfilled hopes led to bitter expectations.
During that time God showed me how I wanted JJ to make up for what my dad had never been as a father to me, or as a husband to my mom. Hoping to create my own version of “happily-ever-after,” I became controlling and critical.
I thought if I could get JJ to be the husband and dad I wanted him to be, my broken dreams would get put back together. Maybe he could provide security and shelter for the little-girl-emotions that were still crushed inside my heart.
But my strategy wasn’t working. Instead, I needed to cry out to God with my hurts and call on Him for help. And, I needed to take time to respond to what He was showing me.
Time to seek God for my security and hope by letting Him be the father I longed for. Time to grieve things I wanted from my father that I would never have. Time to invite God into my hurting places so He could heal my wounded emotions and set me free from my fear of never having a happy ending.
Finally, I needed to forgive my father and release my feelings of anger, abandonment, disappointment and hurt. I also needed to confess my sin of unrealistic expectations and let go of what I thought was my right to “happily-ever-after.”
It was a process that took time, prayer, courage and tears, but it was worth it. Over time I was able to let go of my past and my pain as I took hold of hope and healing. I was also able to accept JJ for who he was and trust God to make him the husband He knew I needed, instead of the one I wanted.
When we allow Jesus to search our hearts and bring His perspective into our pain, redemption comes. Whether it is the pain from our yesterdays or hurts from our todays, when we give Jesus time to pour His truth into our wounds, His love flows into our pain and makes us whole again.
Dear Lord, please give me the courage and help me take the time to walk through the process of letting You heal my hurts and restore my heart with hope. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
“Yeah! Yeah!”
My 15 month old daughter says a lot of words…many of which are hard to figure out. She uses one word of her creation to mean: apple, up, help and probably 2 other things. So when she says a word with full annunciation, clarity and determination I get really excited. For the past 2 months she has started saying “Yeah!”…sometimes it’s one time, other times it’s 3, but all times it’s with a big smile and almost always with a little dance. She usually says it in response to us asking her “Charlotte, do you want…” or “Can you…” or “Do you want to try…” It’s amazing how excited we all get by her eager response and unquestionable faith and trust in us. She hasn’t learned to not trust people yet. She hasn’t really learned the word “no” yet. All she knows is that her parents love her and why wouldn’t she want what they’re offering to her?
And it got me thinking…
If we’re born with that instinct to TRUST and we’re later taught to NOT trust, doesn’t that mean that the bible is right when it says to TRUST God? He created us to trust…so shouldn’t we AT LEAST trust HIM? If we get this excited over a little girl saying “Yeah! Yeah!” How excited must God get when we say “Yeah! Yeah!” to him.
Sunday was my first time teaching Sunday school at my church. It was great. It was fun. It was challenging. And it was exactly what I was supposed to be doing. But do you want to know how long it took me to say “Yeah! Yeah!” to God’s promptings to do it? Months…if not more. I’ve been talking to my pastor for a while about how to get more involved but the truth is, without trusting him and trusting God it was pretty impossible to say yes to anything. I wanted to get more involved but I didn’t trust that it was the right place for me. I’d gotten in the mindset that my involvement in this church was temporary and so it didn’t make any sense to be more than the sometimes Sunday goer. I said no to God’s plan. I didn’t agree. There was a part of me that was so blocked that I didn’t want to put myself in a position where I could get hurt…and without responsibility, commitment or dedication – there was really no chance of getting hurt. But this weekend I discovered what happens when you say “Yeah! Yeah!” with the faith that God will protect you and give you what you need. And I hope to stay in this place that He has put me for a while.
And a last thought. Recently I heard a pastor ask the question “are you growing in God?” and I immediately, out loud, said no. Didn’t even think about it. Just knew the answer. And I’m now realizing that’s what happens when you don’t have “Yeah! Yeah!” in response to “Jessica, do you want…”, “Can you…” and “Do you want to try…”
A Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Morning
Have you ever had one of those days that you woke up and you just didn’t feel right? Physically and emotionally out of balance. That is my morning. Now granted, I’m definitely not a jump out of bed let’s start the day type of morning person, but this was even more miserable than usual. I woke up with no patience…a horrible way to start a Monday for a SAHM. I know why I feel this way. It’s a holiday and my husband has to work. It’s a holiday so my neighbors are home and making a lot of noise before I’ve had coffee and while I’m trying to get my daughter to nap. I poured a cup of coffee and it only filled the mug half way. I didn’t sleep well. My family was sick all weekend. I spent a lot of hours at church this weekend and felt exhausted by the time I got home so the day felt over by 2pm. I ate too many sweets this weekend, some of which I’m convinced had dairy in them (causing a nice bloating and uncomfortable feeling for my intolerant digestive system). I’m on day 7 of a 30 day detox and it hasn’t really “taken effect” yet so I just have a body full of water. I feel jealous of others. I feel irritable. I found 5 more fruit flies this morning (we CAN’T seem to get rid of them and it’s SO frustrating and gross.) I’m somehow annoyed that it’s a nice, warm day outside. My daughter woke up after an hour of napping as opposed to her 2 – 2 1/2 hour snoozefest. I really want to go on and on but I think that’s enough. Did I mention it’s only 11am?
So this morning I did what we all do. I wept a bit and felt sorry for myself. I distracted myself with Facebook. I dragged myself around the house considering all of the things I should probably do. I stared at the baby monitor and told my daughter to go back to sleep (as if she could hear me). I read a magazine and cut out some recipes. I tried giving myself a pep talk. I told myself not to call anyone to complain. And then I looked at my desktop background with my reminders of things I should do BEFORE coupons, facebook, emails, Swagbucks and chatting with hubbie online. It reads “Read Devotional. Read Bible. Mvelopes.” Crap I didn’t do any of those. I guess I should. So I walked into my dining room and turned to Day 26 of the 31 day devotional I’ve been doing for close to 50 days (yea) called “The Finisher’s Destiny.” I then chuckled to myself at how someone who felt the need to read a devotional about being a finisher is taking so long to finish it. I then wonder how many people didn’t finish it and got a bit prideful that it may take me months but I WILL finish it. But I digress.
Day 26: RENEWING YOUR STRENGTH
“And let us not lose heart and grow weary and fait in acting nobly and doing right, for in due time and at the appointed season we shall reap, if we do not loosen and relax our courage and faint. So then, as occasion and opportunity open up to us, let us do good [morally] to all people [not only being useful or profitable to them, but also doing what is for their spiritual good and advantage]. Be mindful to be a blessing, especially to those of the household of faith [those who belong to God's family with you, the believers].” – Galatians 6:9-10 AMP
“That He (God) would grant you, according to the rices of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man.” – Ephesians 3:16
“Wait on the LORD; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the LORD!” – Psalm 27:14
“…He gives power to the weak, and to those who have no might He increases strength.” – Isaiah 40
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” – Philippeans 4:13
Once again, God gave me what I needed. So nothing about my day has changed. It may be “one of those days.” I may have a case of the Mondays. But the truth is, it’s only my heart and my relationship with God that will determine what type of day I truly have. The facts are the facts and the events are the events but the heart…now that’s something I can control and God is going to give me strength to do that.
I’m not there yet…but I’m determined to get there before lunch.
I’m a Needy Friend
Friendships are tricky – let’s take a look at a timeline of how it works.
When we were babies - if you napped around the same time and your moms were friends, you were best friends and saw each other almost every day.
When we were kids - if you liked the same toy or had the same hobby you were best friends and played every day.
When we were teenagers - if you liked the same band or store at the mall you were best friends and hung out almost every day.
When we were single young adults - if you liked the same bars/clubs you were best friends and hung out every weekend.
When we were dating young adults - if you liked the same movies and restaurants you were best friends and hung out every few weeks.
When we were married young adults - if you liked the same board games and take out you were best friends and hung out maybe once a month.
When we were married young adults with children - if your kids got along and napped at the same time and work schedules aligned and there were no family obligations you were best friends and hung out every few months.
I can’t go any further because I’m not at those stages yet but I’m GUESSING until your kids move out of the house, it only gets more and more difficult to keep a best friend. And yet the bible talks about friendships so obviously they’re important…so how do we do it? As an introvert it’s something I’m working on and struggling through every day. I know there are people out there who just go to social gatherings, make a bunch of friends, casually get together with them and are completely happy and satisfied by those type of relationships…but that’s just not me. I’m a 2 good friends type of person. I love being a best friend, not an acquaintance. I hate forgetting people’s names so it’s much easier to only have to remember a few of them. I’m bad at remembering details of people’s lives so I’d rather know everything about 2 people than a little about 10. I like sitting down and talking for hours about everything, not talking about the weather and the kids and whatever else we can find to chat about. I’m getting better at doing it but it’s just not naturally who I am.
So why would God create me to be a certain way if it doesn’t fit in with the stage of life I’m in? I don’t know really. Maybe He’s pushing me to not be SUCH an introvert. Maybe He knows the desires of my heart but also knows that my lifestyle can’t handle such a “needy” friendship. Maybe He knows that there are a lot of people out there who would be great to have influence on my life and all of those traits don’t exist in just 2 people. And maybe there are more than 2 people out there who need something from me.
The thing I am learning is the timeless knowledge that you get what you put in. I have to constantly ask myself “what type of friend do you want?” “Well, then what type of friend do you need to be?” If you want to have a friendship with someone a lot of times you have to take the first step. Make the first move. It’s like dating all over again. Suck it up and ask her to coffee. Or to come over for a playdate. Maybe it’s just saying hi with a smile next time you see her. If we think back to dating and treat friendships the same way (minus the intimacy obviously), I think we’ll all develop some great, meaningful friendships that are a bit less than “best friends” but definitely more than just acquaintances.
Oh You Sexy Bible You
Yup you read the title right! The bible IS sexy. Nope, not speaking about Jesus being sexy or a God-fearing man being sexy or the physical book being sexy. I’m talking about a book within the book. Not Genesis…not Acts…certainly not Revelation…I’m talking about that often overlooked, under-preached about chapter, Song of Songs.
For the past 2 months I’ve been studying the Song of Songs with some friends and it’s been a really interesting and fun addition to my life. We’re watching Mark Driscoll’s series called “The Peasant Princess” (www.peasantprincess.com) and although we don’t agree with every word that comes out of his mouth, I think we’ve all grown as married women because of his wisdom on this sexy, sexy book.
My question to you is – have you ever read the Song of Songs in depth? We’re studying it word for word, chapter by chapter and it’s truly amazing how beautiful and poetic each scripture is. It’s so weird to think of scripture as being sexy but how else do you describe a sentence that reads “I belong to my lover, and his desire is for me.” Yup, that’s in the bible. It also reads “Let my lover come into his garden and taste its choice fruits.” Too poetic? Well here’s a nice blunt one for you “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth – for your love is more delightful than wine.”
Now tell me that the bible isn’t sexy? If you’re a married man or woman and haven’t read the Song of Songs I highly recommend you do. It’s truly a beautiful book and story. There is so much to learn about how to keep your marriage full of passion and love and Mark Driscoll really helps you to take these scriptures and turn them into concepts that are easy to understand and actions that will help you develop your marriage in a healthy and beautiful way.
My 1 Year Fast
Now before you think I’m trying to top Jesus who is famous for His 40 day fast…let me explain. I’m NOT fasting food. Fasting is merely giving up something, it can be anything. But from past experience I do know that you shouldn’t fast something unless you feel called to do it. It doesn’t matter if you know the reason or not, but just make sure it’s not just something you decide to do. I personally don’t think God will care if you do, but there is just no point in doing a fast that won’t have any spiritual results.
That being said…
I’m fasting non-social television for an entire year. That means that I will not watch tv or movies unless it’s in a social setting (ie: date night, friends over, kids program with my daughter). You might think it’s really not a big deal but to me, it is. You see, when I’m having a bad day, I enjoy putting on a movie and drifting off to a land of characters I love and can relate to. When I don’t feel well, I love laying on the couch and watching countless episodes of Gilmore Girls. My husband spends 3 nights/week in the studio producing music and a lot of times I scan through Netflix and watch a show or movie to enjoy the peaceful night by myself. All in all, I didn’t watch THAT much tv…but I think God got tired of my reason for doing it.
Mid April 2011 I spent one evening watching “Eat Pray Love” staring the wonderful Julia Roberts. I loved the movie. I sat there soaking up each funny line and relating to each emotion felt whether it was the food, the friendship, the feeling of love, a past of pointless relationships, or the spiritual journey one goes through at some point in their life. But with all of that, there was one scene that got me teary-eyed…and I’m pretty sure that wasn’t the intention of the writer. See the picture below:
Surprised huh? Honestly, I cried because she was sitting in a comfortable environment, enjoying reading a book. Yup. That made me cry. God used that scene to show me how much time I waste watching other people experience life. I love reading. And writing. And dancing. And trying new things. And talking to friends and family. I’m a smart, creative, fun person and yet when I have a moment to myself I don’t feel that way. I drown myself in worlds that don’t exist. Actors are known for saying ever so (un-intentionally) harshly that these characters and towns we grow so fond of don’t actually exist…they’re just shows. It sounds sad to admit to the world but can anyone relate to this disappointment? There’s no Rory Gilmore running around Stars Hollow and no JD waiting for me in Sacred Heart Hospital. Have you ever gotten so wrapped up in a show or movie that you forget that not only doesn’t that place exist, but you are completely ignoring yourself and your life to engage in it?
I still haven’t figured out the entire plan God has for this fast but I don’t find it coincidental that I’m blogging again and finding new and creative ways to spend my free time. For example, instead of watching a show or movie while folding laundry, I listen to podcasts and sermons I missed at church. And instead of drowning my bad days with a good movie, I’m reading books that are uplifting and help my imagination run wild and free.
Some days are hard…some days are easy…but all in all, this is going to be one crazy journey!
Take that Number and Shove It
“Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” – 1 Cor 6:19-20
“So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” – 1 Cor 10:31
In church, on the radio, in books, we hear week after week about so many topics but we don’t hear too much on how being healthy is biblical. But it is. I proved it above. God has given us our bodies to take care of, to nourish, to value, to appreciate. But do we do it? How many of us overindulge in sweets? Under nourish our bodies? Cut out entire food groups to lose weight? Worship the number on a scale or on a tape measure? Talk more about how we look than how we ARE?
I’m fed up. Really, I am. I’m fed up with myself and every other person who joins me in this battle. God gave me this body for a reason. He gave me it to take care of, not to beat up so that I look the way I THINK I should look. Do you really think God created us all with individual minds, gifts, spirits and passions but meant for us to all look the same? Do you think it’s possible that MAYBE, just maybe, all women aren’t supposed to be a size 2 and all men aren’t supposed to wear a size 32 jeans.
I’m tired of looking at a number on a stupid piece of technology and judging myself on it. Crap, I gained 3 lbs this weekend…guess I should go on a diet. YES! I lost 2 lbs! What an achievement! Really? Is that how God sees it? I really don’t think so. So why can’t I?? It’s such a battle that controls many of us.
I’m all for eating healthy, exercising and taking care of our bodies. That’s definitely what God wants us to do. But the rest of it, I’m just not convinced is the way we’re supposed to be living. We need friends, not a scale, to hold us accountable and motivate us to reach our goals. We need God to guide us on whether or not to eat dessert, not the guilt we feel in the pit of our stomach. We need sunshine and joy to motivate us to exercise, not some overly processed magazine image or fitness-obsessed personal trainer.
It’s a battle. It’s a struggle. But it’s something we NEED to keep in perspective in order to be who we’re TRULY supposed to be. I know I know, says the “tiny” girl. But seriously, don’t judge a book by it’s cover nor a person by their appearance. You have no idea what people struggle with. Don’t judge, reach out and help one another.
It’s the End of the World As We Know It…
(sing along!) …and I feel fine. (R.E.M.)
I’m sure by now you’ve heard that some people believe the rapture will happen on Saturday May 21st and the world will end October 21st, 2011.
I personally do not believe this will happen. I’m not going to go into why and I’m not looking for any debates. This isn’t what my surprise post is about. It’s about the wonderful quote “If you don’t believe in (or stand for) something, you’ll fall for anything.”
At this point I’m just asking you, do you know what you believe? You DO or you DON’T. And it’s important to realize that everyone is entitled to this…but it doesn’t make either of you right.
Some people believe the world will end in 2011.
Some people believe the world will end in 2012.
Some people believe that no one knows when the world will end.
Some people believe in God.
Some people don’t.
Some people believe in more than one God.
Some people believe that chocolate is the best ice cream flavor.
Some people believe that vanilla is.
Get my point?
Know what you believe in and stand for it. Don’t let someone else’s belief sway you if you don’t feel they’re right. Don’t say things you don’t mean and don’t do things you don’t think you should do.
It’s an easy concept but it’s a hard action. I just wanted to take a few minutes to encourage you. Believe in something. You have as much right as anyone else does.
What Will Be, Will Be
Howdy strangers. It’s been a while. Remember me? Well…remember my last post? If you don’t, go check it out. I had to re-read it before posting this blog and all I can say is “wow.” I was right on so far. Honestly, I haven’t thought much about what I wrote since I wrote it…but I guess what will be will be. I say this because everything I spoke about in my last post, has been so incredibly on-point with my life as of right now, 19 days later. That’s when you truly know that you hear from God.
That being said…was the easier part.
This part is a bit harder.
I’ve been blogging for a long time. I’ve actually developed some following. It amazes me. Thanks so much for reading what I have to say!
But the truth is, I don’t have much to say right now. God is doing such a quiet, humbling work in my life and I’m currently on a journey that isn’t meant for the public eye. He’s doing things in my heart that can’t be put into words. He’s opening my eyes to things that are meant for me alone to see. He’s opening doors that are marked with a sign “for members only” and the membership price is extremely high and the applications accepted are few.
So what am I trying to say? I’m saying that it’s official. As of right now, this blog is closed. Alive for people to read old posts but for the near future, no new posts will be written and published.
It’s been a fun and amazing journey but it’s just not what I’m supposed to be doing right now with my time. I’m sad and excited but I know that with God – what will be, will be. And things may change..but for now, my online blogging life door has been closed and I’m smiling at the other doors that are opening because of it.
Thanks for all of the love and support and comments and reading! You can still keep up with me on facebook and twitter and gmail and in person and all those other ways if you’re interested. And if not, that’s okay too. I’m believing that God has a plan much bigger than I could ever know.
With love,
Jess/Proverb31girl
2010 Ends. 2011 Begins.
In less than 24 hours 2010 will be over and I’ll have to remember to write 2011 on everything. Like every other year, it will probably take me some time to get used to that but to be honest, I’m looking forward to it since for me, 2011 seems to have already begun.
I’m not prophetic in a way that I can tell you “thus says the Lord” or even in the “let me tell you what God is saying” way. But I do know how to pray, speak to God and hear His voice in my life. And in my life, he made it clear from the very beginning, 2010 was about change in my life. Just read my past blogs and you’ll see that trend. In 2010 I had a baby, moved, got plugged in at a new church, left my career to be a stay at home mom, lost friends, made friends, got back in touch with some old friends and overall, had a lot of smaller adjustments happen as well – including eating dairy-free. Looking back, it seems like it was a long year. I think change can do that. Not many people like change and therefore it was a stressful year but also a year that is ending with a full-cart shopping list of blessings.
In 2010 I was also (forced) to learn a lot about myself and a lot of my strengths and weaknesses. I’ve learned about what true hurt looks like but I’ve also learned what true forgiveness is. I’ve grown as a woman and a wife more than any other year. I’m quickly learning what true sacrifice is and how to put my own agenda behind me for the good of the future and for others. I’ve learned how easy it is to get prideful in being “a good Christian.” I’ve also learned that being a good Christian doesn’t always look the way we think it should. That many people around us, Christians or not, are parading around in masks and disguises that they don’t know they own and in fact, those disguses are owning them. I’ve also learned that there are some amazing people out there who are waiting for you to come into their life if you’ll only say hi (even if it’s just in a bathroom! 
)
2010 brought about such change and stretching (somewhat literally!) for me that I was afraid of what 2011 would bring. But honestly, I think I already know. December 2010 has been a very insightful month for me. I’ve taken the time to look at a lot of things in my life and prayed about some things just kinda sitting around in my life, seemingly collecting dust. The things that weigh us down because they’re not growing or shrinking…they’re just there – not getting addressed. For me, early 2011 is about addressing those things. It’s about clearing out the corners now that the change has taken place. It’s about letting go of things I “just couldn’t deal with” in 2010, so I didn’t. It’s about really pressing in to the things I feel called to be doing and ending/putting away the things I know aren’t active in my life for a reason. It’s about building on the changes that were made in 2010 and not looking back wondering what if. It’s about moving forward with my new life and new friendships and new ventures and investments. It’s about choosing to stay focused on a few things rather than wrangling in and holding on to as much as I can grab. It’s about trusting God with what He’s given me and what He’s taken away…knowing that this may still change and alter and I have to be okay with that immediately…not months down the road after it’s beat me up a bit. It’s going to be about making decisions and then moving forward rather than closing my eyes and jumping. It’s going to be a year of being aware of what’s going on around me and focusing on the path I know I’m supposed to be on. It’s about the mature knowledge that some things have to be let go of, all emotions aside. And from what I can see, it’s going to be a year of keeping Jesus as my center and learning to kick the little buggers chewing on my ankles aside while still moving forward with a smile on my face and a joy in my heart.
You might be completely confused, frustrated and bewildered by what all of these things are. Please don’t be. This isn’t a blog where you should respond with “are we still going to be friends?” “what does she mean by that?” “how does she know that” “what happened?” etc. To be honest, I don’t even know if I’d have an answer for you. I just know the truths that are on my heart, and most of them do not have specific situations or people connected to them; they’re as vague and general as this post is.
All I can say is that I welcome 2011 with open arms and encourage you to do the same. Don’t bring the hurts of 2010 into 2011 but don’t ignore them either. Deal with them, let them go, and move forward into a new year filled with possibilities.
*Happy New Year! Thanks for all of the love and support. I look forward to hearing about what God has in store for YOUR new year.
A Monday Morning Gift to You
Sometimes we need it simple and straight. We don’t need someones interpretation or in-depth theology. Sometimes, we just need the pure and simple words written in the book. I pray you have a beautiful Monday morning filled with joy and peace.
Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions.
Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.
For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.
Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you are provide right when you speak and justified when you judge.
Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
Surely you desire truth in the inner parts;
you teach me wisdom in the inmost place.
Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity.
Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
and sinners will turn back to you.
Save me from bloodguilt, O God,
the God who saves me,
and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
O Lord, open my lips,
and my mouth will declare your praise.
You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart,
O God, you will not despise.
In your good pleasure make Zion prosper;
build up the walls of Jerusalem.
Then there will be righteous sacrifices,
whole burnt offerings to delight you;
then bulls will be offered on your altar.
~ Psalm 51
Where’s Superman?
The past few days have been hard. My daughter has been teething and has been having stretches of time that are extremely difficult to handle. There are things I want to get done that aren’t getting done. There are things that HAVE to get done that I’m dreading. I had some bad dreams that woke me up at 3:30am the other day and situations that kept me from napping – so I drank a lot of caffeine – which then kept me up until about 6am the next day and then after 2 hours of sleep I had things to do and didn’t nap all day. There were stressful situations appearing and past hurts lingering in the air. I felt helpless and tired and alone in my little world. Desperate for superman to come and take charge. To make everything better. I prayed and prayed and waited for Jesus to send superman to my front door and say “let me do this for you. Go lay down for a while.” I waited for God to respond the way I thought he should. His daughter needed help so He should send someone to help her. It’s definitely the “makes sense” solution. But I quickly discovered that no one was coming to my rescue. Superman is not real. But I also realized that supermom isn’t either.
When I reached my peak, my limit, my point of “things really can’t get harder…I can’t handle this,” my husband offered to do some of the work that had to get done when he got home that evening. YES! Superman! I felt for one second. Soon followed by the overwhelming feeling that I didn’t need superman. I didn’t need physical help. I needed restoration. I needed to learn that I COULD do this. That I was called to do this. That many people do harder things. God quickly revealed the answer to my prayers. I needed to lean on HIS strength and I needed to know that these situations are stretching me and making me “able.”
I put on some soul-quenching music, specifically Charlie Hall’s “My Brightness
Sure God could provide help in the form of a friend or relative offering to help me out. And He will do that if and when it’s necessary. But as always, He knew that after the person went home, I probably wouldn’t be changed. I would just have a clean house and a (maybe) napping daughter. But He knew that I would feel this way again next week. Or next month. He saw the bigger picture.
Maybe you can’t specifically relate to this situation. Maybe you’re sitting there rolling your eyes (or just recalling the feeling from long ago) because you have more kids and more things to do and are handling it all. But maybe, just maybe, there is someone out there that needs to hear this. GOD WILL BE YOUR SUPERMAN. IT JUST MIGHT NOT BE IN THE WAY YOU THINK IT SHOULD BE. In the movies, superman was predictable. Bad situation – he swoops in and saves the day by putting out a fire or catching a falling victim. He did it in the physical. But God can do that in ways that will save you from future situations. He can prevent future fires and falls. He can give you joy that’ll last past the tragedy. And that’s a message that anyone can get something from.
*A 1 song game clean-up party. What I do is pick a room and put on music. At the beginning of a song I straighten up as many things as I can in that room, moving as quickly as I can. All items that don’t belong in that room go into a pile, sorted by which room they belong in. Trash bag in hand or a “garbage pile” works too but make sure you have one or the other. When the song is over, take everything from your piles and put them in the room they belong in. It won’t clean your house the way you dream it should be cleaned. But it’ll take away the chaos and overwhelming feeling of cleaning the rooms later on. This can also be done with dishes and throwing a load of laundry in (if you have a washer and dryer). Songs are usually between 3 and 5 minutes long so the typical person won’t even lose an hour of their day doing this. It’s productive and it’s fun – give it a try!
My name is Jessica and I'm a proverb31girl. These are my thoughts on living a proverb31 girl life. I invite you to join me on this journey!Subscribe
