I wasn’t going to set a New Year’s resolution but it seems God had a different plan. Right after the new year He told me to stop gossiping. WHAT? ME? I’m not a gossip! *Immediate offense begins.* But the thing I’ve learned about God is that He’s always right, whether I agree or not. So it took me a few days but finally I decided to ask Him “okay, how am I a gossip? I don’t see it.” And since then I’ve noticed the little things that I do and say that aren’t pleasing to Him.

In the dictionary, the meaning of gossip is “a person who habitually reveals personal or sensational facts about others” or “rumor or report of an intimate nature”. Still, I didn’t think that was me. I’m really not known for walking around telling secrets and blabbing about who said and did what with ill intentions. But the thing is, the bible’s definition of gossip is a lot more cumbersome than the dictionary’s. God definitely holds us Christians to a higher standard. The bible teaches us that our words should not be idle and should be pleasing to God. Our words should build others up, not put others down. Our words should be spoken in love for ALL and never be boastful or full of pride. Fairly quickly I understood what I’ve been doing wrong.

It’s not that I’m a gossip in the worldly sense, but the truth is, many things come from my heart and out of my mouth that are not pleasing to God. You see, your words can go in 2 directions: pleasing to God or not pleasing to God. I’m pretty sure there isn’t a third option of “eh, I guess that’s okay” or “I really don’t care about that.” If God cares about every single hair on our head, I think he probably cares about every word we speak. Sure, giving someone a recipe could probably fall in that “I don’t care” category, but seeing as you’re sharing something positive with someone else without any pride in your heart, I think that’s probably a “pleasing” conversation. See what I mean?

Whenever God puts something like this on my heart I start doing research on what I could possibly do to change. Of course pray and ask God to change me but I’m a bit more of an action person than a “wait for a change” person. So I found a devotional called “30 Days to Taming Your Tongue” and have committed to reading a chapter each day and doing an evaluation of what came out of my mouth every night. I’m also journaling any reflections I have or things I feel from God about this. I don’t have much to report as I’m only on day 3 but I must say that I’ve already become more aware of the good and bad things I do/say each day.

I propose a challenge to you. Take an account of 1 day of your life. Evaluate the things you say and the intent to which you speak them. Take a look at your motive during conversations and the way you TRULY feel about certain things/people, whether you say them or not. And if you find things that aren’t up to the standard you think they should be, commit to changing. It’s a hard hard thing to do as a woman, but seeing as at the end of our life we’ll have to give an account of EVERY word spoken, it’s definitely a journey worth taking.

How to Enter:  (each will get you 1 entry into the giveaway)

1. Leave a comment below telling me your favorite hair color (whether it’s real or fake!)

2. “Like” Proverb31 blog on facebook and leave me a comment here telling me you did so (or that you are already a fan).

3. Subscribe to the blog by either email or RSS Feed and leave a comment here telling me you did so (or that you are already a subscriber).

4. Send a friend to this post! Have a friend comment below saying that you sent them here and you’ll both be given an additional entry.

US Residents only. Giveaway closes Saturday 9/24/11 at 11am EST. Please make sure the email address you provide is the one you’ll respond to if you’re the winner!

Good luck!!

So that’s buying…but my new game is selling! The only thing better than saving money is MAKING money without working!

I sold a few things at What’s New Again…didn’t get as big a return as I had hoped for but it was enough to cover about half of what I’ve spent there in clothes. Once Upon a Child is great because they buy your used clothes/gear etc. on the spot and give you cash. No waiting around to see if someone is going to buy it. And now I’m putting together all of the things I’m going to be selling at Be Green Sale’s Semi-Annual Kids Consignment Sale, held right here in Fishkill next weekend and Westchester to follow. I attended last year on Friday for the new mom’s special night sale and made some really great purchases. I highly recommend you make plans to go and get there early! It’s big!! And consider selling next time, you don’t have to be at the event AND you set your own prices – definitely not the “usual” consignment rules!

So that’s it for me…those are my consignment recommendations. Feel free to comment below and add yours!

Anyone out there relating to this? Well I’m proud to say that I just did a “crafty” project in about 5 minutes and it’s something ANYONE can do!

Chris and I are constantly bothered by the coupons that print one to a page and then leave you with half a sheet of unused paper. If you’re as into couponing as I am, you have probably thought about this also. So we of course thought to use the paper as scrap paper but for people in an apartment attempting to stay clean and organized, there was really no smart way to store/use the scraps. But today I did something with them. I made a notepad out of materials I had around the house and no it’s not perfect nor worthy of selling but it’s good enough for me and most importantly, it was completely free, took about 5 minutes to complete AND is reusing materials I would have thrown out.

What you need: paper (any size, any color), a ruler if you’re fancier than I am, 1 colored paper/post it, a hole punch and a piece of ribbon.

All I did was trace one of my internet coupons and cut it out. I then used that as a “template” to create similar sheets with all of the paper I had. You can use a ruler and make it look real good but I just did it freehand. I then stacked all of the papers together and trimmed whatever edges really didn’t line up. Then I got fancy and took a colored post it and cut out a little rectangle to give the notepad a little color. I aligned the post it to the top and in small stacks, punched a hole in the center of each sheet. I then cut a piece of ribbon, stringed all of the papers together and tied the ribbon into a bow.

Yup, THAT’S IT. It’s quick, it’s easy, it’s imperfect and I’m proud of it! I might even get crazy and glue a magnet to the back and hang it on the fridge.

For the past 2 months I’ve been studying the Song of Songs with some friends and it’s been a really interesting and fun addition to my life. We’re watching Mark Driscoll’s series called “The Peasant Princess” (www.peasantprincess.com) and although we don’t agree with every word that comes out of his mouth, I think we’ve all grown as married women because of his wisdom on this sexy, sexy book.

My question to you is – have you ever read the Song of Songs in depth? We’re studying it word for word, chapter by chapter and it’s truly amazing how beautiful and poetic each scripture is. It’s so weird to think of scripture as being sexy but how else do you describe a sentence that reads “I belong to my lover, and his desire is for me.” Yup, that’s in the bible. It also reads “Let my lover come into his garden and taste its choice fruits.” Too poetic? Well here’s a nice blunt one for you “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth – for your love is more delightful than wine.”

Now tell me that the bible isn’t sexy? If you’re a married man or woman and haven’t read the Song of Songs I highly recommend you do. It’s truly a beautiful book and story. There is so much to learn about how to keep your marriage full of passion and love and Mark Driscoll really helps you to take these scriptures and turn them into concepts that are easy to understand and actions that will help you develop your marriage in a healthy and beautiful way.

“So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” – 1 Cor 10:31

In church, on the radio, in books, we hear week after week about so many topics but we don’t hear too much on how being healthy is biblical. But it is. I proved it above. God has given us our bodies to take care of, to nourish, to value, to appreciate. But do we do it? How many of us overindulge in sweets? Under nourish our bodies? Cut out entire food groups to lose weight? Worship the number on a scale or on a tape measure? Talk more about how we look than how we ARE?

I’m fed up. Really, I am. I’m fed up with myself and every other person who joins me in this battle. God gave me this body for a reason. He gave me it to take care of, not to beat up so that I look the way I THINK I should look. Do you really think God created us all with individual minds, gifts, spirits and passions but meant for us to all look the same? Do you think it’s possible that MAYBE, just maybe, all women aren’t supposed to be a size 2 and all men aren’t supposed to wear a size 32 jeans.

I’m tired of looking at a number on a stupid piece of technology and judging myself on it. Crap, I gained 3 lbs this weekend…guess I should go on a diet. YES! I lost 2 lbs! What an achievement! Really? Is that how God sees it? I really don’t think so. So why can’t I?? It’s such a battle that controls many of us.

I’m all for eating healthy, exercising and taking care of our bodies. That’s definitely what God wants us to do. But the rest of it, I’m just not convinced is the way we’re supposed to be living. We need friends, not a scale, to hold us accountable and motivate us to reach our goals. We need God to guide us on whether or not to eat dessert, not the guilt we feel in the pit of our stomach. We need sunshine and joy to motivate us to exercise, not some overly processed magazine image or fitness-obsessed personal trainer.

It’s a battle. It’s a struggle. But it’s something we NEED to keep in perspective in order to be who we’re TRULY supposed to be. I know I know, says the “tiny” girl. But seriously, don’t judge a book by it’s cover nor a person by their appearance. You have no idea what people struggle with. Don’t judge, reach out and help one another.

That being said…was the easier part.

This part is a bit harder.

I’ve been blogging for a long time. I’ve actually developed some following. It amazes me. Thanks so much for reading what I have to say!

But the truth is, I don’t have much to say right now. God is doing such a quiet, humbling work in my life and I’m currently on a journey that isn’t meant for the public eye. He’s doing things in my heart that can’t be put into words. He’s opening my eyes to things that are meant for me alone to see. He’s opening doors that are marked with a sign “for members only” and the membership price is extremely high and the applications accepted are few.

So what am I trying to say? I’m saying that it’s official. As of right now, this blog is closed. Alive for people to read old posts but for the near future, no new posts will be written and published.

It’s been a fun and amazing journey but it’s just not what I’m supposed to be doing right now with my time. I’m sad and excited but I know that with God – what will be, will be. And things may change..but for now, my online blogging life door has been closed and I’m smiling at the other doors that are opening because of it.

Thanks for all of the love and support and comments and reading! You can still keep up with me on facebook and twitter and gmail and in person and all those other ways if you’re interested. And if not, that’s okay too. I’m believing that God has a plan much bigger than I could ever know.

With love,

Jess/Proverb31girl

Dear Size 3 Jeans and XS/S shirts,

I’m sure you’ve seen this coming…we haven’t seen each other in months. We’ve both been very busy – you know, with me getting pregnant and having a baby and you…well you never changing. You’re the same as you’ve always been and you just don’t fit into my life anymore. We had some great times and I really appreciate everything you did for me. I just wish I appreciated you more  than I did now that I look back. I’ll never forget the feeling of leaving my 5/6 jeans behind; the day I discovered my insane lack of eating diet and over gym attendance would bring me to you. Ah that feeling of seeing that little label read SIZE 3, even though no one else ever knew or could tell a difference. I knew in my heart that you were always better than the other jeans…even if you cost the same amount and looked exactly the same. And you, oh my precious XS and S baby-tees…you kept my wardrobe looking like I was a little 14 year old girl all throughout college. For that, I thank you. Really. There is nothing like looking back at my 21st birthday and realizing that you were worth having in my life. You brought me the confidence to get wasted and dance on chairs, not caring what I was like on the inside…just how sexy I was on the outside. I just wish I knew back then how much you controlled my life.

But as I said, things are different now. I see you sitting in bags collecting dust, you and your out of style cuts and designs. And I see me, in my new, yet larger, clothes, enjoying life as a mom and wife. I’ve moved on. My new clothes and I don’t have the connection that you and I once had…but I think that’s for the best. Because a day will come that I will probably change sizes again and when that time comes, it won’t be so hard to say goodbye. I’ll end that relationship with a testimony that won’t be aimed towards young girls and the dangers of “label control” and vanity.

So this is goodbye. Thanks for the memories that will keep my life in perspective forever more. I just hope my readers never have to have a breakup like this. It’s painful to realize how controlling you were. How manipulative. How deceitful. So many promises that were broken and unrealistic ideas. Such vanity. And for what? The label goes on the inside of my clothes. And unless a day comes that the label is in large letters on the front of everything I wear, I’m determined to not let a number or letter control my life the way you did.

Sincerely,

(a much happier) Jess

When I reached my peak, my limit, my point of “things really can’t get harder…I can’t handle this,” my husband offered to do some of the work that had to get done when he got home that evening. YES! Superman! I felt for one second. Soon followed by the overwhelming feeling that I didn’t need superman. I didn’t need physical help. I needed restoration. I needed to learn that I COULD do this. That I was called to do this. That many people do harder things. God quickly revealed the answer to my prayers. I needed to lean on HIS strength and I needed to know that these situations are stretching me and making me “able.”

I put on some soul-quenching music, specifically Charlie Hall’s “My Brightness “, “Your love is like a ROCK when I’m SPINNING around” and danced around the living room with my daughter. We smiled, we laughed, we had 3 minutes of restoration. I then realized that God gave me exactly what I needed – the knowledge that I was meant for this. I then had the most amazing (and productive) hour I’d had in days. I did all of the little things that were easy to do – no major projects – just took care of little things that were driving me nuts. I threw on some sneakers and took out the trash – breathing in the fresh air for the 2 minutes I was outside. I sorted the laundry and realized it wasn’t as much as I thought it was. I took a quick shower and loved the feeling of being clean and wearing comfy clean clothes. I did 1 game clean-up parties in each room (scroll down to learn what that is). Most importantly – I took the time to thank God for restoring my faith and confidence in the fact that He always knows best.

Sure God could provide help in the form of a friend or relative offering to help me out. And He will do that if and when it’s necessary. But as always, He knew that after the person went home, I probably wouldn’t be changed. I would just have a clean house and a (maybe) napping daughter. But He knew that I would feel this way again next week. Or next month. He saw the bigger picture.

Maybe you can’t specifically relate to this situation. Maybe you’re sitting there rolling your eyes (or just recalling the feeling from long ago) because you have more kids and more things to do and are handling it all. But maybe, just maybe, there is someone out there that needs to hear this. GOD WILL BE YOUR SUPERMAN. IT JUST MIGHT NOT BE IN THE WAY YOU THINK IT SHOULD BE. In the movies, superman was predictable. Bad situation – he swoops in and saves the day by putting out a fire or catching a falling victim. He did it in the physical. But God can do that in ways that will save you from future situations. He can prevent future fires and falls. He can give you joy that’ll last past the tragedy. And that’s a message that anyone can get something from.

*A 1 song game clean-up party. What I do is pick a room and put on music. At the beginning of a song I straighten up as many things as I can in that room, moving as quickly as I can. All items that don’t belong in that room go into a pile, sorted by which room they belong in. Trash bag in hand or a “garbage pile” works too but make sure you have one or the other. When the song is over, take everything from your piles and put them in the room they belong in. It won’t clean your house the way you dream it should be cleaned. But it’ll take away the chaos and overwhelming feeling of cleaning the rooms later on. This can also be done with dishes and throwing a load of laundry in (if you have a washer and dryer). Songs are usually between 3 and 5 minutes long so the typical person won’t even lose an hour of their day doing this. It’s productive and it’s fun – give it a try!

10 years ago I was a lost girl who had just entered a big scary university 3 hours away from home. In high school I had a lot of friends that spanned a lot of different types of friendships you can have. I had some best friends, some enemies, some people I hung out with just to feel cool and some people I was embarrassed to be seen with. I had boyfriends that lasted a year and others that lasted 3 days. My hair changed color by the month and my style did as well. I guess the only thing that was stable about me was the fact that I never stopped changing something in my life. Looking back, I think we call that being unhappy with ones self. But at the time, I just thought I was on the search for something better.

Unfortunately that search continued for years. Through college where I had a different group of friends every year (with the exception of a few, my Lucycakes (Alli) for example – hi!!), I changed my major a few times, I tried to switch schools a few times, I joined different clubs and spent more time talking online to my high school friends than I did trying to make new friends at school. That in turn led me to spending many weekends sitting on a Greyhound bus heading back home to spend time with the guy I had a crush on in high school. We ended up dating on and off all through college, successfully keeping me unattached and uninterested in anything new that might help me to find the happiness I was desperately seeking. Despite the advice of my parents and friends, I stayed in this pattern until it got worse. I dated some real “winners” and got into some things that I’ll never be proud of.

But somehow I managed to graduate college and move home to the place I was crazy about…until of course I lived there again. Through my dad’s connections I got an amazing internship working with celebrities and high-profile clients. It was great for my resume…and perfect for bringing this long downhill ride to a crashing end. Fancy clothes, weekly happy hour and parties with the coolest of the cool didn’t make me any happier. Of course I wasn’t depressed or even aware of my unhappiness at times, but I guess I was always searching for something to really complete things. To close the circle that would make me truly happy. It wasn’t a guy, figured that one out. It wasn’t an education, and it wasn’t a job, figured that one out too.

It took me until the end of 2004 when a geeky guy I met online invited me to watch him play in his band to figure it out. I had no connection to my creator. In fact, what I knew of God was what I experienced. And looking back, it had always been good experiences. I had random prayers throughout my life asking for things and these things always happened. Whether it was the simple prayer of “God, if you’re real, please help me to sleep tonight. I have a big test in the morning and I’m freaking out” or the selfish prayer of “God, if you’re real, I would really like ___” and then the prayer I was afraid to pray but promised I would, “God…if you’re real…will you please bring Jeff home alive to me and to his family? We’re so scared for him. He said I can’t be mad that he’s overseas fighting in the war but I am. I’m mad that he’s there and I want him here. He asked me to pray and I don’t really know how, or if I believe in you, but if you’re real, please…bring him and his friends home safely.” All prayers were answered. But it wasn’t until I was “tricked” into attending a church’s youth group that I realized it.

I spent 2004 and early 2005 getting to know some amazing Christians and really encountering God and his presence on my own. It was weird and I cried a lot without knowing why. I had my doubts and definite fears of this new lifestyle. But without realizing it, my life was suddenly on the rise up. I had this joy inside of me for what felt like no reason. I could spend hours with my eyes closed breathing the fresh air outside. I would get lost in music the way I didn’t know was possible. And on a red eye flight home from Las Vegas in March 2005 I decided that I couldn’t just play Christian anymore. I had to have this relationship with Jesus Christ like all of my friends, and now boyfriend (the guy from the band, not from the army..just in case I lost ya). In early April 2005 I prayed the prayer that changed my life. I asked Jesus to come into my heart and save the life I no longer had control of. It was the best decision I’ve ever made.

So the next 5 years were spent with my boyfriend Chris who became my husband in 2006. And we had our little girl 4 months ago. I worked in trade show management for 4 1/2 years until God recently blessed us with the finances for me to be a stay at home mom. I have spent many hours in church being a youth leader, dance team leader, cafe worker, projector runner and most recently, just a member who loves God. I’ve met some amazing people along the way from all over the world. So many of them have made me who I am today.

I guess you can say that the past 10 years have been a roller coaster of change and emotions. It’s fun looking back and realizing how much things have changed and how truly happy I am with how things have turned out. I just hope I can say the same thing 10 years from now.

A big shout out to the Class of 2000. If you aren’t happy with the last 10 years, don’t take another 10 years to change.