Pre-Labor

• Keep reminding yourself that the baby WILL come out. You will not be pregnant forever…even if baby is late.
• As hard as it will be, DO NOT count down until your “due date.” Baby is going to come when baby wants to come.
• Have fun setting up the baby room/nursery but don’t go too crazy. Once I arrived home with Charlotte I realized that the drawers I put everything in made NO sense. Chances are, you’re going to move everything once you develop your own system.
• You will probably get A LOT of newborn clothes. DO NOT wash everything. We have a pile of clothes that she already outgrew and never got to wear. Remember, those cute onesies CANNOT be worn until the umbilical cord falls off. Charlotte’s took over 2 weeks, so she outgrew a lot of clothes before being able to wear them.
• SwaddleMe Sleepsacks have been lifesavers for us. She falls right asleep when wearing one (usually).
• Get a washable/waterproof/vinyl changing pad. DO NOT get the pretty non-waterproof/non-vinyl covers. One little drop of pee and you have to put it in the wash.
• Got a lot of duplicate “baby items” from your shower but don’t have receipts? You have a few options. Go online and add them to your registry (check babiesrus before other stores – their prices are higher so you’ll get more for the return!). Then you can return it to the store without a receipt. Can’t find it on the registry? Go to target or walmart. Both stores will let you return items without receipts. Target gives store credit, walmart gives cash back up to $20 I believe and then store credit after that. We ended up returning a lot of items, keeping 1 of each, and decided to buy more as needed. So far, it hasn’t been needed and we got $30 to Target just from powders, cremes and lotions!
• Buy diapers now. In your first few weeks you won’t want to run out and buy diapers. I loved the Huggies Pure & Natural for newborns because it has a special dip in the front so you don’t cover the umbilical cord. Nothing more challenging than folding down a diaper correctly at 3am.
• Keep walking/exercising. It’ll keep your mind clear and baby moving. It’s the best way to help baby along.
• Enjoy some last date nights (if it’s your first child). Chances are you’re not going to want to use a babysitter in the first few months so this may be your last real date for a while. Chris and I had 3 last dates and all were worth it.
• If people offer you baby clothes/items, take them and wash immediately. You won’t know what baby likes and what you like until he/she is already here and getting to a store isn’t as easy.
• RELAX and enjoy the last weeks of pregnancy. It’s hard to do. And you’re tired and usually in some kind of discomfort but remember, it’s the last time your name won’t be mom for the rest of your life
• Buy books, movies, tv show boxsets etc. While waiting for baby and as a new mom you’ll be up many hours for different reasons.
• Braxton hicks contractions are different than real ones. But if you’re anything like me – you won’t be able to tell the difference.
• Got an iphone or app-friendly phone device? Get the contraction tracker app! It’s free and a real easy way to track how long and frequent your contractions are. It’s how I knew it was time to take a trip to the hospital.
• There is a long list of signs you might be going into labor in many books. Use them as a reference. I didn’t get some of the signs ever and honestly, many of them came just a few hours before I went into labor. Don’t get discouraged…everyone is different.
• Pack your bag for the hospital! Here’s my suggestions that might not be too obvious: hair brush and tie, mascara/light makeup, bath robe & slippers, disposable razor, toothbrush & tooth paste, cheap but cute nursing pajamas (or you can wear the robes they give you- i did both), lotion/stretch creme, deodorant, chapstick, comfy go home clothes (maternity clothes still), cell phone charger, camera.
• Go food shopping/make and freeze food. You will NOT be up for cooking and hubbie won’t be either. We lived off of pre-made chili for many days.
• Sanitize/sterilize bottles, pacifiers etc. before baby comes. I didn’t think to and didn’t realize it should definitely be done before using them. Put bathing things together in a basket and organize clothes so newborn outfits are easy to grab and 6 months clothes are out of reach.

Labor/Hospital

• Not sure if you should go to the hospital yet or if contractions are real? Call your doctor. I was afraid of bothering him with stupid questions and false labor but they get calls all of the time and are the only ones that know what you should do. Don’t be afraid to look stupid.
• I was told that if you’re just saying “ow” then you’re not going into labor. This may be true for some, but do you know how high your pain tolerance is? I obviously didn’t. I was saying “ow” when I was already hours into labor. Use your own judgement.
• Not sure if it’s a real contraction? Try moving (if you’re sitting, stand up etc.). If it gets worse/stays the same, it’s probably real.
• Communicate with your husband/ride to the hospital. If you don’t need to do a movie-like panic run th the car speeding to the hospital scene, don’t do it. There will be enough going on. Stay calm, breathe, and remember, he’s probably as nervous as you are.
• Be honest with your nurses. If you’re in pain, tell them. If you feel pain coming on but think you can handle it a bit longer, tell them NOW. Hospitals get busy out of no where and you don’t want to be stuck waiting for pain medicine when you really need it.
• Stay positive, stay light hearted, and remember, it’s just one (usually) really long day. It WILL end and your baby WILL come out one way or another.
• If your hospital room has a TV in it, put something fun and light on. We watched 90s tv sitcoms during labor, during pushing and for days in recovery. It’s nice to have something to look at but not really feel the need to WATCH it. Home Improvement was on when Charlotte was born. Who knew I’d be looking at Tim Allen while pushing my first child out. haha.
• “Now is not the time to be a super hero” – Dr. Rudnicki. Take the pain medicine unless you’re really against it.
• It will hurt. But you will have a little baby in your arms when it’s all over.

Hospital Stay

• A lot of people will want to visit. You may want to limit it. You and husband and baby will be very tired and worn out…remind people they can visit you when you get home. And keep your nurse in the loop, she’s usually willing to kick people out of the room so you don’t have to be the bad guy.
• Not sure if you want to have baby sleep at night in the room with you or in the nursery? I suggest the nursery. You’re going to be exhausted and glued to your bed in recovery. Let the nurses soothe his/her crying and change diapers for a few nights. You’ll have MANY chances to do it yourself later on. Plus, if there are any complications – they know what to do and you don’t. Charlotte had one night of choking on mucus she was coughing up. I would have freaked out if I was alone with her when it happened.
• Planning on nursing? The nurses will bring baby to you in the middle of the night so that you can. Just make sure they know this is what you want – if not, they’ll give him/her formula from a bottle.
• Questions? ASK NOW! Nurses and doctors are all around you. Don’t be embarassed. It’s harder to call later on.
• Anything in the hospital room WILL get thrown out so take it home with you! From the disposable post-pregnancy underwear to the huge maxi pads to the baby’s hair brush.
• Witchhazel pads/Tucks and ice packs feel amazing for your sore area. Make sure to bring them home with you AND buy some more when needed.
• Take a shower, brush your hair, put on a little makeup…it’ll help you to feel so much better. Especially if you’re going to have visitors who want to take pictures..and they will.
• Speaking of pictures, call the shots. I told everyone I did not want my “just had a baby” pictures posted anywhere and they respected that. Take some so you have them, but the world doesn’t need to see you in a gown with crazy hair and a fat, tired face unless you want them to.
• Heard that you leave the hospital looking 6 months pregnant? Unfortunately it’s true. It takes days/weeks to not look pregnant anymore. And then, you still have a mushy belly. But remember, you did JUST have a baby.
• Take some of the hospital time to relax with just your family. The nurses take care of you and bring you food and pain meds. Your hubbie will want some quiet time and your baby may not want to be passed around all day long. Your first days home will be tiring and overwhelming, take advantage of the hospital help.

So that’s all I can think of. I’m sure there are more things but I think that’s enough. I will leave you with one funny story. Our first night (or 2nd) back at home, I had to wake up to feed Charlotte. So I set the alarm and somehow opened my eyes after only a few hours of sleep. But I woke up confused and panicked. I woke up Chris because I couldn’t figure out how to sit the bed up to feed her. I was hitting the side of the mattress looking for the controls. It took me a few minutes to realize that I wasn’t in the hospital and my mattress did not have controls. It was a really funny moment that I’ll never forget.

What if my hormones go all crazy and Chris doesn’t know how to handle me?

What if we both want to use the tv at the same time and neither one of us wants to mention it (yes, we have 1 tv)?

What if I’m annoying to be with for this many hours in a row?

What am I supposed to do on maternity leave BEFORE there is a baby to feed, change and take care of?

The questions and curiosities are endless!

So over the past 2 days I’ve mentioned these things to my husband. It’s amazing how great communication can be. I’m assured that my craziness is to be expected and he’ll love me anyway. I can voice if I want to kick him off a video game to use the tv but have also found contentment in using my computer to stream Netflix in the bedroom. We went to Barnes & Noble to buy some books and have enjoyed our new blu ray player. So far, boredom does not exist…just excitement and anxiety as we wait for contractions to be more than 2 hours apart.

So hello maternity leave. Hello sleeping until I feel like getting up, going into town at any time, watching movies during the day and reading books with my cat sleeping on the bed next to me. The nursery is 95% complete, Charlotte’s clothes are clean, hospital bags are packed and the car seat is installed. So what’s next? Chris and I are going on a date tonight. Taking the advice of many, we figure this may be our last time to have a nice night out just the 2 of us for a while.

Any other advice on what I should do during this waiting period? I’ve heard sleep, go on dates, relax and freeze some food…anything else oh wise readers?

I might be writing this blog only for me but I have a feeling it’ll probably help some of you also.

Ever been in a slump? I’m talking a real funk. Nothing medical, just one or two or five of those days where you just don’t seem to want to do anything? Nothing is right. Maybe nothing is even wrong. You’re just down, unhappy, out of it, don’t want to do anything, can’t find a smile and want to spend the whole day in bed, or watching movies or just not speaking with anyone? And when you do talk, all that comes out is complaints, frustrations and maybe even tears. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, congratulations – you can stop reading here. But I think most of us know some form of this feeling.

Personally, I’ve been in a slump for the past 24 hours. It started with a phone call telling me that my doctors appointment had to be pushed back a few hours when I was already on my way there, continued when the doctor informed me that he wants to see me again in 10 days (wait, you mean I won’t be in labor before then? How much longer do I have to be pregnant?!!), and then came to a peak this morning when I realized that I’m in a complete creative funk: blogs not written, cameras with dust on them and poems with no endings. Well hello tears, bad mood & screaming voices in my head. So I did what any normal (ha) person would do. I cried. I sulked. I slept on the couch after getting out of bed for the day. I turned to coffee. I told myself how horrible this day was going to be. And then I looked at the clock and realized that it was awfully early to consider a day ruined. So then I did what any abnormal person would do. I closed my eyes and prayed whatever I could to a God who won’t tell me I’m crazy for feeling this way. I read a devotional about the need for desperate reassurance and meditated on the scriptures “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you (1 Peter 5:7)” and “Whatever is true…think about such things…And the God of peace will be with you.” (Philippians 4:8-9). And then I took action. I did the things that I know make me feel better. I wrote in my journal about how blessed I’ve been these past few months. I brushed my messy hair and put my favorite smoothing shine spray in it – something that makes me feel a bit less untamed. I took a few minutes to sit with my vanity mirror and put on some makeup – something that always makes me feel more attractive. I put on the necklace my parents got me for my birthday – something that reminds me I’m loved. I read the birthday card Chris got me this year – something that reminds me how desired I am. And I’m writing this blog – something that reminds me it’s not hard to get out of a creative funk.

Am I all fixed? Nope! But do I feel better than I did an hour ago? You bet.

What do you do when you’re in a slump? And what CAN you do to survive the slump?

The tricky thing about being human is that we were created with these amazing brains. They have this miraculous way of connecting to our mouth and connecting to our heart but not always connecting the 3 together. This is where the problems arise.

I haven’t figured out exactly what God wants me to learn from all of this today – but I know there is going to be something revealed if I let him reveal it. Because the truth is, I don’t think many people go a day or 2 without being deceived by their own motives and desires. I might say that I’m over something, but my heart screams otherwise when I sit down and think about the situation. I might smile at someone I don’t like and tell myself that I’ve chosen to love them but what am I thinking about as soon as they do something annoying again? How fickle are my emotions and do I let those emotions control me and my actions? Do I tell myself one thing HOPING that one day I’ll actually feel that way?

All stuff to think about. And I’m sure your questions are different but along the same path. Take some time to think about it. Pray about it. Figure out what your REAL desires are and what you’re incorrectly believing.

I’m going to leave you today with a little phrase that’s been sitting on my desk since I started my job over 4 years ago. “What’s my motive?”

Think about it. If we think about our true desires and motives before letting our emotions control our mouths, how much better off would we be right now?

Clothing

• If you’re not comfortable, it’s not worth it. Wear clothes that fit instead of squeezing into your last non-maternity shirt.
• Non-maternity clothes make you look larger than you are – they aren’t made to fit your new curves.
• Invest in some maternity jeans and put less money into the tops so you can get a bunch of them.
• Ask around! Lots of people will be willing to give you clothes, even just to borrow, if they have some.
• Large t-shirts are perfect for bed…especially when it’s hot and the last thing you want is to be wearing clothes.
• Buy lots of solid, layerable shirts. Get the fitted tees with the bunching on the side…you can wear them at any month that you’re in! A great investment. Buy them in the winter w/ a few shirts that can go over it.
• Be careful of the help you get in maternity stores. They want to help but they’re still sales people. Try on everything and only buy what you love. You’re not investing in clothing at this point…you’re buying clothes to get you through a few months.
• Buy bigger bras as soon as you need them and then get bra extensions to make them last. Instead of buying bras over and over again these cost a whole $1.50 each and give you the extra help you need.
• Maternity pajama shorts are worth buying…they’re comfy and are light weight.
• Take care of yourself. As you get bigger you’re going to feel unattractive at times. Get your hair done, do your makeup, wear cute flats…it’ll make you feel better.
• Sweats are made for the house. Yoga pants can be worn anywhere – especially with a cute top.
• Maternity leggings are comfy and perfect to throw on under long tops and dresses!
• Just because someone gives you something, doesn’t mean you have to wear it. Wear what fits and what you like.

Learning

• It’s good to read What to Expect but only read the month that you’re in. It’s too overwhelming any other way.
• Do join some baby center/what to expect type websites. Don’t join all of them. Many times they’re all saying the same thing anyway.
• Stay off forums and pregnancy boards. Most of the people posting on there contradict each other and themselves. Many just want to complain. If you have a real question, ask your doctor or another mom. Or find a real medical website…don’t rely on strangers you don’t know.
• Learn to do some pregnancy stretches. It helped me with all of my back problems.
• Read some baby books and then move on. Don’t lose who you are because you’re having a baby. Chances are you’ll know what to do when you need to do it (or so I hear!)
• Listen to others or don’t. Friends always want to give advice but half the time what worked for them won’t work for you. Take opinions lightly.
• Listen to your body…it will tell you most things you need to know.
• Learn the difference between crying for no reason and not being able to help crying. I’ve found that sometimes my hormones are crazy and I feel like crying – but I don’t HAVE to. Save it for when you cry and you really can’t help it. No one likes a cry baby!
• Complaining is normal…but so is pregnancy. Women do it all of the time. And non-pregnant people WILL get tired of hearing it fast. Learn to get over things yourself.
• If you’re craving something, it may not be WHAT you’re craving that’s important…take a look at what that food provides you with. It’s usually the vitamins/fiber/salt/sugar that your body is craving…not the actual food.

Eating

• My favorite quote that I’ve lived by. “Yes, you’re eating for two. But that 2nd person weighs between 2 oz. and 4 lbs. most of your pregnancy…it only needs 300-400 calories. That’s 2 sodas.”
• Don’t emotional eat. Treat yourself, yes. But find a different way to deal with your hormones. Like going for a walk or writing or crying or watching a movie. I enjoyed watching Father of the Bride 2 while pregnant.
• Fruit is your friend but it’s also like giving your baby a red bull at times. Don’t forget that fruit is loaded in sugar.
• Skip the caffeine, go for the fruit. It’s a natural energy high. So is ice cold water.
• Carry a water bottle with you – thirst will sneak up on you.
• Eat healthy: what you eat, your baby eats.
• Don’t forget, this is the one time in a woman’s life that dessert is guilt-free. Treat yourself…just don’t do it every day.
• Keep eating. If you’re hungry, baby is hungry. You wouldn’t not feed him/her when he/she is here, would you?
• Heartburn is not fun but neither is giving up your favorite food. Choose wisely.
• You can make exceptions to the “do not eat when pregnant” list…but think about it, that list is there for a reason. Don’t be so selfish.
• You’re not fat, you’re pregnant. Keep repeating to yourself until that baby bump is obvious to all.

Get Comfortable

• My body pillow is my best friend at night. They’re much cheaper than buying what’s in the maternity stores. I got one at target and it has washable, removable covers. It’s perfect.
• Beware of your posture and the way you hold yourself. It’ll help wonders with your back and any pains you have. Shoulders back, neck straight, tailbone under. Straighten up – especially when sitting!
• Pillows are amazing support on a couch.
• Take advantage of people helping you and doing things for you. Then do the same for others when you’re not pregnant.
• If you’re tired, take a break. Don’t push yourself if you want to stay healthy.
• Learn to laugh at yourself. It’ll really help when you lose your balance and start wobbling for what seems like no reason.
• Exercise is good but don’t go crazy. You’re not trying to lose weight…just to keep healthy!

Well that’s all I’ve got for now…hope it helps someone. The biggest thing to remember is to take care of yourself, let others help you, know that things ARE going to change and there is nothing you can do about it. Just learn to listen to your body and enjoy the ride.

I must say though, this weekend has been great. Over the past week my husband has been doing most of the unpacking and it’s been the biggest help anyone could ask for. It’s amazing coming home every day to find something else done and ready to be used. Then to top it off, this weekend he gave me a pedicure! Yup…my guy read up on how to make a good foot scrub and pampered me like crazy. And to top it all off, he bought me a brownie and took me shopping for things around the house. Is he good or what?

I’ve been thinking…this is the last mother’s day that will pass that I don’t have a little girl staring back at me wishing me a happy mother’s day. Reality that she’ll be here in 2 months is really starting to hit. And to be honest, it’s a bit scary! Exciting…but scary. Most days I still feel like a kid myself. But I’m just believing that God wouldn’t have allowed her into our lives if we weren’t prepared for this next step in life.

So here’s to the future…with a new apartment, a new addition to the family and to new friendships at our new church. I’m looking forward to seeing how it all develops

Happy Week-End. Talk to you soon

Although I realize it’s perfectly normal to be hormonally imbalanced at this point in my life, I’ve also been made aware that I don’t have to give in to it. I can fight against the urge to throw keys at an annoying landlord office worker and not cry in the middle of Home Depot. I can wake up with a sore back and do some stretches to make it better. I can look at the rainy sky and completely stopped traffic and breathe a sigh of relief that I’m still happy, healthy and loved. Attitude and control really can make such a difference in my life if I give them the power to do so.

And then earlier today I realized that it’s not just me that God is speaking to about this…the rest of my post is from my bloggy friend’s post. And I swear, we didn’t talk about this. Take a read below and read the full post here:

It’s hard to be upset and play the victim role when you know God knows what He is doing. So we choose to trust in Him. We choose to stay positive. We choose whether we allow outside drama into our lives. We choose whether we allow ourselves to take our eyes off God and instead look at the worldly ways. We choose to find the good along with the bad.

While we may not always be able to choose our circumstances, we can choose our reaction to them.

We can choose our attitude.

……….I love the following quote by Charles R. Swindoll……..

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.

Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company… a church… a home.

The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.

We cannot change our past… we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.

I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you… we are in charge of our Attitudes.

So.
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what do you choose?

Last night I was hanging out on the couch watching Season 1 of 10 Things I Hate About You (ya know, to get ready for season 2 which starts on Monday). Don’t judge. Well anyway, while watching the “will they won’t they” of Kat and Patrick, baby Charlotte (my unborn child) started moving around. At this point I’m used to her moving. She kicks and shifts all of the time. But somehow I knew this time was different. I looked down and noticed my entire stomach moving. It was the most amazing thing I think I’ve ever felt. I know she’s real. I see the sonogram and feel her moving. But to actually SEE her moving around was just the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen. It literally brought me to tears, realizing how much I already love her and I haven’t even met her yet. Just to know that in about 3 months I’ll be able to hold her in my arms and tell her about the beauty of the world…it’s just so amazing. I never knew I’d feel this way. I guess no one can prepare you for the miracle of life. To be honest, I’m glad. It’s so much more moving to experience it without any expectations.

So that’s it…just had to share. I’m sure you moms can relate and everyone else can’t. But thanks for reading anyway

Now don’t get me wrong, I love my mom, always have, always will…but if I’m honest, I’ll admit that I don’t often think about her and what she’s done for me. But lately I have been. All of the dance practices she took me to and weekends away so I could compete. All of the ice cream she bought me when I didn’t win and the “dance gear” she bought me when I did. All of the dinners she cooked for me and lunches she packed. The toys she got me and the hours she spent taking care of me instead of working. Then later on all of the years she probably spent wondering why I didn’t like her and what she could have done differently. It’s a lot to think about if you haven’t thought about it much before.

Today my thoughts have gone passed the natural things she’s done and more towards the emotional/mental side of my mom. What does she think about when she’s all alone? Does she look in the mirror and think she’s pretty? Does she truly believe that she’s cherished and loved by my dad and the rest of us? What is she afraid of? Does she know that she’ll go to heaven when she dies? Is she afraid to die? Does she wish I were different?

The questions are endless. And maybe one day we’ll have the type of relationship that I can ask her these things. But we’ve never really been like that. I love her and we have fun when we get together, but we don’t really talk about these things. Which makes me wonder, what kind of relationship will I have with my daughter? Will she know that I believe I’m beautiful and that I know I’m cherished by my husband? I sure hope so.

In the end, I guess my point is that if we step back, we’ll often see people for much more than what we actually see with our eyes. And when we do that, we truly have the power to change any relationship…no matter what point they’re at.