It’s the End of the World As We Know It…

(sing along!) …and I feel fine. (R.E.M.)

I’m sure by now you’ve heard that some people believe the rapture will happen on Saturday May 21st and the world will end October 21st, 2011.

I personally do not believe this will happen. I’m not going to go into why and I’m not looking for any debates. This isn’t what my surprise post is about. It’s about the wonderful quote “If you don’t believe in (or stand for) something, you’ll fall for anything.”

At this point I’m just asking you, do you know what you believe? You DO or you DON’T. And it’s important to realize that everyone is entitled to this…but it doesn’t make either of you right.

Some people believe the world will end in 2011.

Some people believe the world will end in 2012.

Some people believe that no one knows when the world will end.

Some people believe in God.

Some people don’t.

Some people believe in more than one God.

Some people believe that chocolate is the best ice cream flavor.

Some people believe that vanilla is.

Get my point?

Know what you believe in and stand for it. Don’t let someone else’s belief sway you if you don’t feel they’re right. Don’t say things you don’t mean and don’t do things you don’t think you should do.

It’s an easy concept but it’s a hard action. I just wanted to take a few minutes to encourage you. Believe in something. You have as much right as anyone else does.

It’s the End of the World As We Know It…

(sing along!) …and I feel fine. (R.E.M.)

I’m sure by now you’ve heard that some people believe the rapture will happen on Saturday May 21st and the world will end October 21st, 2011.

I personally do not believe this will happen. I’m not going to go into why and I’m not looking for any debates. This isn’t what my surprise post is about. It’s about the wonderful quote “If you don’t believe in (or stand for) something, you’ll fall for anything.”

At this point I’m just asking you, do you know what you believe? You DO or you DON’T. And it’s important to realize that everyone is entitled to this…but it doesn’t make either of you right.

Some people believe the world will end in 2011.

Some people believe the world will end in 2012.

Some people believe that no one knows when the world will end.

Some people believe in God.

Some people don’t.

Some people believe in more than one God.

Some people believe that chocolate is the best ice cream flavor.

Some people believe that vanilla is.

Get my point?

Know what you believe in and stand for it. Don’t let someone else’s belief sway you if you don’t feel they’re right. Don’t say things you don’t mean and don’t do things you don’t think you should do.

It’s an easy concept but it’s a hard action. I just wanted to take a few minutes to encourage you. Believe in something. You have as much right as anyone else does.

What Will Be, Will Be

Howdy strangers. It’s been a while. Remember me? Well…remember my last post? If you don’t, go check it out. I had to re-read it before posting this blog and all I can say is “wow.” I was right on so far. Honestly, I haven’t thought much about what I wrote since I wrote it…but I guess what will be will be. I say this because everything I spoke about in my last post, has been so incredibly on-point with my life as of right now, 19 days later. That’s when you truly know that you hear from God.

That being said…was the easier part.

This part is a bit harder.

I’ve been blogging for a long time. I’ve actually developed some following. It amazes me. Thanks so much for reading what I have to say!

But the truth is, I don’t have much to say right now. God is doing such a quiet, humbling work in my life and I’m currently on a journey that isn’t meant for the public eye. He’s doing things in my heart that can’t be put into words. He’s opening my eyes to things that are meant for me alone to see. He’s opening doors that are marked with a sign “for members only” and the membership price is extremely high and the applications accepted are few.

So what am I trying to say? I’m saying that it’s official. As of right now, this blog is closed. Alive for people to read old posts but for the near future, no new posts will be written and published.

It’s been a fun and amazing journey but it’s just not what I’m supposed to be doing right now with my time. I’m sad and excited but I know that with God – what will be, will be. And things may change..but for now, my online blogging life door has been closed and I’m smiling at the other doors that are opening because of it.

Thanks for all of the love and support and comments and reading! You can still keep up with me on facebook and twitter and gmail and in person and all those other ways if you’re interested. And if not, that’s okay too. I’m believing that God has a plan much bigger than I could ever know.

With love,

Jess/Proverb31girl

2010 Ends. 2011 Begins.

In less than 24 hours 2010 will be over and I’ll have to remember to write 2011 on everything. Like every other year, it will probably take me some time to get used to that but to be honest, I’m looking forward to it since for me, 2011 seems to have already begun.

I’m not prophetic in a way that I can tell you “thus says the Lord” or even in the “let me tell you what God is saying” way. But I do know how to pray, speak to God and hear His voice in my life. And in my life, he made it clear from the very beginning, 2010 was about change in my life. Just read my past blogs and you’ll see that trend. In 2010 I had a baby, moved, got plugged in at a new church, left my career to be a stay at home mom, lost friends, made friends, got back in touch with some old friends and overall, had a lot of smaller adjustments happen as well – including eating dairy-free. Looking back, it seems like it was a long year. I think change can do that. Not many people like change and therefore it was a stressful year but also a year that is ending with a full-cart shopping list of blessings.

In 2010 I was also (forced) to learn a lot about myself and a lot of my strengths and weaknesses. I’ve learned about what true hurt looks like but I’ve also learned what true forgiveness is. I’ve grown as a woman and a wife more than any other year. I’m quickly learning what true sacrifice is and how to put my own agenda behind me for the good of the future and for others. I’ve learned how easy it is to get prideful in being “a good Christian.” I’ve also learned that being a good Christian doesn’t always look the way we think it should. That many people around us, Christians or not, are parading around in masks and disguises that they don’t know they own and in fact, those disguses are owning them. I’ve also learned that there are some amazing people out there who are waiting for you to come into their life if you’ll only say hi (even if it’s just in a bathroom! )

2010 brought about such change and stretching (somewhat literally!) for me that I was afraid of what 2011 would bring. But honestly, I think I already know. December 2010 has been a very insightful month for me. I’ve taken the time to look at a lot of things in my life and prayed about some things just kinda sitting around in my life, seemingly collecting dust. The things that weigh us down because they’re not growing or shrinking…they’re just there – not getting addressed. For me, early 2011 is about addressing those things. It’s about clearing out the corners now that the change has taken place. It’s about letting go of things I “just couldn’t deal with” in 2010, so I didn’t. It’s about really pressing in to the things I feel called to be doing and ending/putting away the things I know aren’t active in my life for a reason. It’s about building on the changes that were made in 2010 and not looking back wondering what if. It’s about moving forward with my new life and new friendships and new ventures and investments. It’s about choosing to stay focused on a few things rather than wrangling in and holding on to as much as I can grab. It’s about trusting God with what He’s given me and what He’s taken away…knowing that this may still change and alter and I have to be okay with that immediately…not months down the road after it’s beat me up a bit. It’s going to be about making decisions and then moving forward rather than closing my eyes and jumping. It’s going to be a year of being aware of what’s going on around me and focusing on the path I know I’m supposed to be on. It’s about the mature knowledge that some things have to be let go of, all emotions aside. And from what I can see, it’s going to be a year of keeping Jesus as my center and learning to kick the little buggers chewing on my ankles aside while still moving forward with a smile on my face and a joy in my heart.

You might be completely confused, frustrated and bewildered by what all of these things are. Please don’t be. This isn’t a blog where you should respond with “are we still going to be friends?” “what does she mean by that?” “how does she know that” “what happened?” etc. To be honest, I don’t even know if I’d have an answer for you. I just know the truths that are on my heart, and most of them do not have specific situations or people connected to them; they’re as vague and general as this post is.

All I can say is that I welcome 2011 with open arms and encourage you to do the same. Don’t bring the hurts of 2010 into 2011 but don’t ignore them either. Deal with them, let them go, and move forward into a new year filled with possibilities.

*Happy New Year! Thanks for all of the love and support. I look forward to hearing about what God has in store for YOUR new year.

We’re Breaking Up…

*Disclaimer: This is meant to be funny. True, but funny.

Dear Size 3 Jeans and XS/S shirts,

I’m sure you’ve seen this coming…we haven’t seen each other in months. We’ve both been very busy – you know, with me getting pregnant and having a baby and you…well you never changing. You’re the same as you’ve always been and you just don’t fit into my life anymore. We had some great times and I really appreciate everything you did for me. I just wish I appreciated you more  than I did now that I look back. I’ll never forget the feeling of leaving my 5/6 jeans behind; the day I discovered my insane lack of eating diet and over gym attendance would bring me to you. Ah that feeling of seeing that little label read SIZE 3, even though no one else ever knew or could tell a difference. I knew in my heart that you were always better than the other jeans…even if you cost the same amount and looked exactly the same. And you, oh my precious XS and S baby-tees…you kept my wardrobe looking like I was a little 14 year old girl all throughout college. For that, I thank you. Really. There is nothing like looking back at my 21st birthday and realizing that you were worth having in my life. You brought me the confidence to get wasted and dance on chairs, not caring what I was like on the inside…just how sexy I was on the outside. I just wish I knew back then how much you controlled my life.

But as I said, things are different now. I see you sitting in bags collecting dust, you and your out of style cuts and designs. And I see me, in my new, yet larger, clothes, enjoying life as a mom and wife. I’ve moved on. My new clothes and I don’t have the connection that you and I once had…but I think that’s for the best. Because a day will come that I will probably change sizes again and when that time comes, it won’t be so hard to say goodbye. I’ll end that relationship with a testimony that won’t be aimed towards young girls and the dangers of “label control” and vanity.

So this is goodbye. Thanks for the memories that will keep my life in perspective forever more. I just hope my readers never have to have a breakup like this. It’s painful to realize how controlling you were. How manipulative. How deceitful. So many promises that were broken and unrealistic ideas. Such vanity. And for what? The label goes on the inside of my clothes. And unless a day comes that the label is in large letters on the front of everything I wear, I’m determined to not let a number or letter control my life the way you did.

Sincerely,

(a much happier) Jess

Photos and More!

I recently used Shutterfly to create my first photo book for Charlotte and was amazed at how easy it was! With this being her first Christmas we’ve finally decided to send out Christmas cards this year (we usually don’t). Our favorite from Shutterfly is the Frost Friends Christmas because it’s cute, original and has my favorite – snowmen!

I’m usually not one for advertising sites but I was seriously amazed at how easy, fun and simple Shutterfly was. Make sure to take a look at their cards and calendars too. I’ve been “collecting” discount codes to their site and am able to get discounts on products, free shipping after purchasing a certain amount and even some more free photo books. It’s definitely worth the effort and an easy way to get some presents checked off of my list. I’m thinking Grandparents who aren’t hip on the digital and still request pictures in the mail of their new great granddaughter! 

A Monday Morning Gift to You

Sometimes we need it simple and straight. We don’t need someones interpretation or in-depth theology. Sometimes, we just need the pure and simple words written in the book. I pray you have a beautiful Monday morning filled with joy and peace.

Have mercy on me, O God,

according to your unfailing love;

according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions.

Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.

For I know my transgressions,

and my sin is always before me.

Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight,

so that you are provide right when you speak and justified when you judge.

Surely I was sinful at birth,

sinful from the time my mother conceived me.

Surely you desire truth in the inner parts;

you teach me wisdom in the inmost place.

Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;

wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.

Let me hear joy and gladness;

let the bones you have crushed rejoice.

Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity.

Create in me a pure heart, O God,

and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me.

Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

Then I will teach transgressors your ways,

and sinners will turn back to you.

Save me from bloodguilt, O God,

the God who saves me,

and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.

O Lord, open my lips,

and my mouth will declare your praise.

You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;

you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;

a broken and contrite heart,

O God, you will not despise.

In your good pleasure make Zion prosper;

build up the walls of Jerusalem.

Then there will be righteous sacrifices,

whole burnt offerings to delight you;

then bulls will be offered on your altar.

~ Psalm 51

Where’s Superman?

The past few days have been hard. My daughter has been teething and has been having stretches of time that are extremely difficult to handle. There are things I want to get done that aren’t getting done. There are things that HAVE to get done that I’m dreading. I had some bad dreams that woke me up at 3:30am the other day and situations that kept me from napping – so I drank a lot of caffeine – which then kept me up until about 6am the next day and then after 2 hours of sleep I had things to do and didn’t nap all day. There were stressful situations appearing and past hurts lingering in the air. I felt helpless and tired and alone in my little world. Desperate for superman to come and take charge. To make everything better. I prayed and prayed and waited for Jesus to send superman to my front door and say “let me do this for you. Go lay down for a while.” I waited for God to respond the way I thought he should. His daughter needed help so He should send someone to help her. It’s definitely the “makes sense” solution. But I quickly discovered that no one was coming to my rescue. Superman is not real. But I also realized that supermom isn’t either.

When I reached my peak, my limit, my point of “things really can’t get harder…I can’t handle this,” my husband offered to do some of the work that had to get done when he got home that evening. YES! Superman! I felt for one second. Soon followed by the overwhelming feeling that I didn’t need superman. I didn’t need physical help. I needed restoration. I needed to learn that I COULD do this. That I was called to do this. That many people do harder things. God quickly revealed the answer to my prayers. I needed to lean on HIS strength and I needed to know that these situations are stretching me and making me “able.”

I put on some soul-quenching music, specifically Charlie Hall’s “My Brightness “, “Your love is like a ROCK when I’m SPINNING around” and danced around the living room with my daughter. We smiled, we laughed, we had 3 minutes of restoration. I then realized that God gave me exactly what I needed – the knowledge that I was meant for this. I then had the most amazing (and productive) hour I’d had in days. I did all of the little things that were easy to do – no major projects – just took care of little things that were driving me nuts. I threw on some sneakers and took out the trash – breathing in the fresh air for the 2 minutes I was outside. I sorted the laundry and realized it wasn’t as much as I thought it was. I took a quick shower and loved the feeling of being clean and wearing comfy clean clothes. I did 1 game clean-up parties in each room (scroll down to learn what that is). Most importantly – I took the time to thank God for restoring my faith and confidence in the fact that He always knows best.

Sure God could provide help in the form of a friend or relative offering to help me out. And He will do that if and when it’s necessary. But as always, He knew that after the person went home, I probably wouldn’t be changed. I would just have a clean house and a (maybe) napping daughter. But He knew that I would feel this way again next week. Or next month. He saw the bigger picture.

Maybe you can’t specifically relate to this situation. Maybe you’re sitting there rolling your eyes (or just recalling the feeling from long ago) because you have more kids and more things to do and are handling it all. But maybe, just maybe, there is someone out there that needs to hear this. GOD WILL BE YOUR SUPERMAN. IT JUST MIGHT NOT BE IN THE WAY YOU THINK IT SHOULD BE. In the movies, superman was predictable. Bad situation – he swoops in and saves the day by putting out a fire or catching a falling victim. He did it in the physical. But God can do that in ways that will save you from future situations. He can prevent future fires and falls. He can give you joy that’ll last past the tragedy. And that’s a message that anyone can get something from.

*A 1 song game clean-up party. What I do is pick a room and put on music. At the beginning of a song I straighten up as many things as I can in that room, moving as quickly as I can. All items that don’t belong in that room go into a pile, sorted by which room they belong in. Trash bag in hand or a “garbage pile” works too but make sure you have one or the other. When the song is over, take everything from your piles and put them in the room they belong in. It won’t clean your house the way you dream it should be cleaned. But it’ll take away the chaos and overwhelming feeling of cleaning the rooms later on. This can also be done with dishes and throwing a load of laundry in (if you have a washer and dryer). Songs are usually between 3 and 5 minutes long so the typical person won’t even lose an hour of their day doing this. It’s productive and it’s fun – give it a try!

Beware the Scarlet Letters

Beware of those beautiful scarlet letters. Not the book. Not the story. Not the history.

The ads.

“Clearance” “Sale” “One Day Only” etc etc.

There’s a phrase that goes “if it looks too good to be true, it probably is.” Well at this point in the year I advise you to forget this saying and bring it back in mid-January 2011. It’s officially Christmas shopping season. Why? Because the stores tell us so. Every single circular has amazing deals on products. Coupon codes, online only sales, 1 day shopping in-store sales, rebates, discounts, free products with a purchase…these deals EXIST and THEY ARE GOOD. It’s just like hell – it exists to all but is often sugar coated in candy red letters so we don’t feel the flames as we fall into its alluring traps. Okay, maybe that’s a bit dramatic but let’s think about this.

Today is November 10th. Christmas is a month and a half away. Have you bought or been tempted to purchase gifts because of a deal you couldn’t pass up? Retailers started early and man they’re good this year.  Falling prices, coupons for every store and black Friday ads circulating since Halloween. The perfect way to stimulate our economy so the stores make money and more and more people end up in accidental debt. Don’t think so? Well, how many people are going to finish the bulk of their Christmas shopping by December 1st and then spend a month not buying anything else when the deals are going to keep getting better? Are you strong enough to not go in the mall for a month during “the best time of the year?” And if you’re daring enough to enter, are you strong enough to resist a 75% off nothing you really need but something you want deal? You may pick up an extra gift or 2 for someone because it’s the “perfect gift.” Or maybe you’ll treat yourself because you’re done shopping for other people.

The stores may seem like they’re helping you out but long-term, are they?

My advice is to do your research before you go shopping, stick to your lists, print out your coupons, use your rebate sites, use your coupon codes, save on the not rushed deliveries but most importantly, if it’s not the absolute perfect gift for the absolute perfect price, wait. It’ll be hard. But it should pay off.

This year before purchasing anything I ask myself these questions:

• Who is it for?
• Will they love it?
• Is it what I would pay if it were full price or am I buying it because it’s on sale?
• Does it exceed the amount I want to/can afford to spend on this person?
• Will it get even cheaper?

I’m not saying don’t shop – I myself have already bought a few presents. What I’m saying is be wise. The stores are not your friends, they’re looking to make money. They don’t care how many times you purchase from their store and whether it’s full price or clearance priced. They don’t care if you use cash or credit card (unless of course it’s THEIR credit card they can charge you interest on). And most importantly, they couldn’t care less if you have a debt/balance in January 2011 that wasn’t there in October 2010.

Wishing you all a conscious shopping season – good luck out there!

Friday Dance Videos!

Fridays have usually been dedicated to either dance videos or funny videos or on my good days, funny dance videos. Well this week is a bit different but I don’t think you’ll be disappointed. Today I have 2 videos for you of my husband Chris (on the right) playing with Prayer Solanky at our church’s coffeehouse night. They’re not dancing but it might make you want to. Or you might just enjoy it. They’re cover songs but the music is all them I can’t wait for them to perform together again; they did such an amazing job. Enjoy and have a great weekend!

Helping Your Community: Part II

Yesterday I posted about helping with food drives in your neighborhood. This next way to help your community isn’t event-driven or time sensitive. For me, it’s a new way of living. I’m always wishing I had more time/money/opportunities/ideas to help people. I usually come up short but this time God gave me an idea that is easy to do, costs me fractions of a penny and doesn’t take much time at all. It’s like coupon swapping, but without getting anything in return. I guess we can call it coupon blessing.

I love couponing. I often visit websites that you can print coupons for free (just the cost of paper and ink for your printer) and ocassionally find coupons in magazines. So my collection of coupons is growing. But there are so many times that I see coupons I don’t need or find that a coupon is about to expire that I’ve already printed but won’t end up using. So this is what I’m doing. I’m taking those coupons and as I’m shopping, I put them next to the item. Not hard to do, not timely to do and definitely not costly to do. But imagine how happy someone will be when they go to buy that item and find a coupon sitting there just waiting for them. It’s like putting money in your neighbor’s pocket.

I know some places have bins for coupon swapping but that takes time to go through and sometimes I feel weird taking a coupon or 5 (lol) when I haven’t contributed anything. But this…this idea I like. I challenge you to do the same. Imagine how awesome it would be if a lot of people started doing this? So many people would be blessed.

Want an even CHEAPER way of doing this? I have 1 question for you: Do you get the Sunday newspaper? The newspaper is loaded with coupons and I’m sure you just end up throwing out the ones you don’t need. How about clipping them and bringing them along next time you go grocery shopping or to a pharmacy? CVS, Rite Aid, Walgreens, Walmart, Supermarkets…so many places take coupons.

Have kids? Bonus! You can make a game of it AND teach them about giving and blessing others.

Anyway, I’ll be doing this and I hope you’ll join me.  As with all things, a little can go a long way.

Helping Your Community: Part I

I think it’s great to help those in need, especially in other countries, but sometimes I think it’s just as, if not more, important to help those in need that live in your area. We all know they exist – wherever you live. It’s not always the guy living under the bridge, the Veteran holding up a sign asking for money or the poor people living in “those” areas of your neighborhood. What about the large family shopping at Walmart who look like they could use some help? Or the family that is struggling with a layoff, or the military family that isn’t getting much from the government…the list goes on and on. Every city has someone that needs help.

The Fishkill Postal Workers are collecting food for the Fishkill Food Pantry to help those in need this holiday season. The list of items that are needed contain inexpensive foods that can be purchased for not much cost to you but will help those in need: pancake mix, syrup, potatoes, jams, jelly, crackers, canned tuna, pasta, stuffing mix, canned fruit, canned vegetables, spam, canned dinners, broth, and cranberry sauce. Think you can spend a little money and buy these items? I bet the person who could use the help will appreciate it much more than you know. If you could afford it, this is such a great and easy way to help out your community.

I challenge you. Find out if your area is doing anything and spend a few dollars helping out. Walmart canned vegetables cost a mere 67 cents a can. Think about it. Starbucks lattes cost anywhere between $3 and $6…imagine what you could get with that amount of money. Want to stretch your dollar even further? Go to some coupon sites and print them out!

Fishkill is collecting the donations this Saturday, all you have to do is leave the items by your mailbox. I challenge and encourage you to do something.

My next blog post will be a 2nd challenge to help your community…make sure to check back soon! Easiest way? Subscribe to my blog either by RSS feed or email address.

Controversial Christianity

*Disclaimer: My blogs purpose is to write about my thoughts on the things I experience in life. Whether it be music, motherhood, church or God, this blog is my OPINION and should never be taken as fact, news or prophetic. Sure it may contain those things at times, but please use your discretion and discernment on the things I say. I would hate to think that someone is steered in a wrong direction because of a feeling I have. My goal is to open the minds of people and hopefully get you thinking about the things YOU feel and experience.
I’m never telling you what to think or do.

I love being a Christian for 1 reason and 1 reason alone: my personal relationship with God. In my opinion, the rest of it is hard, confusing, controversial, sometimes hypocritical and I’d give it all up if I lost the relationship that is the sole basis of who I am and why I live the way that I do. More and more I hear the reason people don’t want to become a Christian is because of Christians. Very rarely do I hear it’s because of God. So that leads me to the frustration that I’ve had building inside of me for…well…years now.

I believe in following the entire bible as much as I possibly can. I believe it’s part of my reverence for God; to follow his word. It’s part of that relationship. Many things I choose not to do are part of my relationship with God. Whether it be not watching a certain TV show or controlling my emotions. Loving the people that are hard to love or tithing my hard earned money.

But I have a problem with the Christian culture that seems to have developed. The things that are hypocritical to many people. For instance, it’s not okay to curse, but it is okay to say another word in place of the curse, and say it with the same attitude and emotion. I understand, many times the word itself has a bad meaning, but how can so many people ignore the fact that the attitude and emotion for saying that word in the first place is still there? Do they really think by saying “dang it” or “frick” God says “oh okay, no problem, as long as you said your Christian word while letting your anger take over you”? Why isn’t it okay to drink 1 beer but it’s okay to obsessively drink Starbucks? Why are R rated movies okay to watch if it’s horror or killing but not okay to watch if there is sexual humor? Why is it inappropriate for guys to flirt with girls but it’s okay for girls to wear clothes that catch a guy’s attention? Why is it okay for any person to write a book based on their interpretation of a scripture and sell it for profit but not for a poorly looking person in the congregation to get up and say what they interpret a scripture to be without getting a “and who are you to speak” look? Why do Christians believe that being a nice person and showing everyone love but never saying why will lead others to Jesus when there are nice Atheists out there doing the same? Why is it okay to practically worship a Contemporary Christian artist or band?

I could go on but I won’t. Maybe you have answers to some of these questions. Maybe you think I’m crazy or cynical. Maybe you agree with me. But here’s my point in all of this frustration. It really comes down to 2 questions. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT JESUS CHRIST DIED FOR YOUR SINS? DO YOU BELIEVE THERE IS A GOD THAT WANTS TO KNOW YOU? To me, that’s all that really matters at the end of the day. I’ve learned to do my own thing. I love being a part of my church. I love my Christian friends. And I love reading Christian books. But with all things I put God and the bible first. I’m not going to take what a man says as fact. Scripture misquoted and misleading is as bad to me as any other sin in the bible. The condition of my heart, soul and mind are much too important to let anyone but God control them.

New Music Tuesday:Taylor Swift

New music Tuesday..on Wednesday…I know I know. Give me a break this time

Some of you are like “what is new music Tuesday?” Well my goal is to introduce you to a new artist or album every Tuesday but lately I’ve been failing to do so. It’s not that there isn’t some great music out there…it’s just that I haven’t had much time to listen to it!

But moving on…

Yesterday Taylor Swift released her new album “Speak Now ” and my hubbie was awesome enough to buy it for me! If you don’t know who Taylor Swift is or haven’t heard her music because it’s country…I suggest you take a few minutes and give her a chance. Not only has this young artist brought country to mainstream radio, but she plays her own music and writes her own songs. Not so easy to do…especially not at the quality she’s doing it! For those of you who are Taylor fans…you will NOT be disappointed with this new album!

As with most of her songs, you are brought through a situation/story that emotionally attaches you to the characters she sings about. Whether it be about love or heartbreak or even a need for revenge, this album covers it all and it covers it well. There was actually a song where at the end I said outloud (to my tv i was playing it on) “so what happened??” haha. Her music tells a story while still having you sing along – not commonly done these days.

So I highly suggest you check out this album and support this young talented girl. Use the link above to purchase it!

A 10 Year Reflection

With my 10 year high school reunion taking place next month (although I’m not going), I’m forced to think about the last 10 years. I honestly expected my reaction to be “I can’t believe it’s been 10 years already…I’m getting so old!” but honestly my reaction was “Yeah, that seems about right.” And I realize this reaction is due to the fact that I’m so proud of my past 10 years. It’s not that I started out at the bottom and climbed the corporate ladder or even that I got married and had a baby…it’s that when I think about who I was 10 years ago, I don’t recognize that person anymore and I’m proud of it.

10 years ago I was a lost girl who had just entered a big scary university 3 hours away from home. In high school I had a lot of friends that spanned a lot of different types of friendships you can have. I had some best friends, some enemies, some people I hung out with just to feel cool and some people I was embarrassed to be seen with. I had boyfriends that lasted a year and others that lasted 3 days. My hair changed color by the month and my style did as well. I guess the only thing that was stable about me was the fact that I never stopped changing something in my life. Looking back, I think we call that being unhappy with ones self. But at the time, I just thought I was on the search for something better.

Unfortunately that search continued for years. Through college where I had a different group of friends every year (with the exception of a few, my Lucycakes (Alli) for example – hi!!), I changed my major a few times, I tried to switch schools a few times, I joined different clubs and spent more time talking online to my high school friends than I did trying to make new friends at school. That in turn led me to spending many weekends sitting on a Greyhound bus heading back home to spend time with the guy I had a crush on in high school. We ended up dating on and off all through college, successfully keeping me unattached and uninterested in anything new that might help me to find the happiness I was desperately seeking. Despite the advice of my parents and friends, I stayed in this pattern until it got worse. I dated some real “winners” and got into some things that I’ll never be proud of.

But somehow I managed to graduate college and move home to the place I was crazy about…until of course I lived there again. Through my dad’s connections I got an amazing internship working with celebrities and high-profile clients. It was great for my resume…and perfect for bringing this long downhill ride to a crashing end. Fancy clothes, weekly happy hour and parties with the coolest of the cool didn’t make me any happier. Of course I wasn’t depressed or even aware of my unhappiness at times, but I guess I was always searching for something to really complete things. To close the circle that would make me truly happy. It wasn’t a guy, figured that one out. It wasn’t an education, and it wasn’t a job, figured that one out too.

It took me until the end of 2004 when a geeky guy I met online invited me to watch him play in his band to figure it out. I had no connection to my creator. In fact, what I knew of God was what I experienced. And looking back, it had always been good experiences. I had random prayers throughout my life asking for things and these things always happened. Whether it was the simple prayer of “God, if you’re real, please help me to sleep tonight. I have a big test in the morning and I’m freaking out” or the selfish prayer of “God, if you’re real, I would really like ___” and then the prayer I was afraid to pray but promised I would, “God…if you’re real…will you please bring Jeff home alive to me and to his family? We’re so scared for him. He said I can’t be mad that he’s overseas fighting in the war but I am. I’m mad that he’s there and I want him here. He asked me to pray and I don’t really know how, or if I believe in you, but if you’re real, please…bring him and his friends home safely.” All prayers were answered. But it wasn’t until I was “tricked” into attending a church’s youth group that I realized it.

I spent 2004 and early 2005 getting to know some amazing Christians and really encountering God and his presence on my own. It was weird and I cried a lot without knowing why. I had my doubts and definite fears of this new lifestyle. But without realizing it, my life was suddenly on the rise up. I had this joy inside of me for what felt like no reason. I could spend hours with my eyes closed breathing the fresh air outside. I would get lost in music the way I didn’t know was possible. And on a red eye flight home from Las Vegas in March 2005 I decided that I couldn’t just play Christian anymore. I had to have this relationship with Jesus Christ like all of my friends, and now boyfriend (the guy from the band, not from the army..just in case I lost ya). In early April 2005 I prayed the prayer that changed my life. I asked Jesus to come into my heart and save the life I no longer had control of. It was the best decision I’ve ever made.

So the next 5 years were spent with my boyfriend Chris who became my husband in 2006. And we had our little girl 4 months ago. I worked in trade show management for 4 1/2 years until God recently blessed us with the finances for me to be a stay at home mom. I have spent many hours in church being a youth leader, dance team leader, cafe worker, projector runner and most recently, just a member who loves God. I’ve met some amazing people along the way from all over the world. So many of them have made me who I am today.

I guess you can say that the past 10 years have been a roller coaster of change and emotions. It’s fun looking back and realizing how much things have changed and how truly happy I am with how things have turned out. I just hope I can say the same thing 10 years from now.

A big shout out to the Class of 2000. If you aren’t happy with the last 10 years, don’t take another 10 years to change.