Becoming Aware

5+ years into marriage and 1+ years into parenthood and I’m STARTING to become aware of who I really am. I have to tell you – as a single, non-Christian I had NO idea. As a single Christian I started getting a glimpse. As a married Christian I started seeing myself but not understanding myself. Now as a married Christian who is a parent, I’m beginning to understand a bit more. And for once, I’m starting to make sense.

If I were to make a list of things that I enjoy doing, qualities I look for in a spouse/friend and expectations I have of people in my life, it would point to a few choice words…all of which help define who I am as a person. Some of those words are: peace, trust, joy, accomplishments, loyalty, beauty, dependency, creativity and simplicity. In the past I’ve studied personality types and know that I’m a mix of phlegmatic and melancholy. That makes sense to me. I’m easy-going and carefree at times but lost in thought and detail specific at other times. But I never thought to analyze whether I’m an introvert or extrovert. After reading a post by The Hippie Housewife (courtesy of links provided by Creekside Ministries), I realized that not only am I an introvert – but understanding what an introvert is will FREE me of the pressure it creates in life.

I really do believe that understanding who you are will help you become the best version of yourself possible. It will also help you to improve the things you don’t like about yourself and stop trying to be somebody you aren’t. Let’s face it – I will never walk into a room and become the center of attention (I even managed to stay out of the spotlight for most of my baby shower!) but if I’m honest with myself, I DREAD circumstances like that, and that’s okay. It’s not for everyone and it’s about time I allow myself to feel that way. Have you ever considered what you hate/love and why? Do you spend hours trying to change yourself even though you haven’t found a biblical answer telling you that you should? I know I have. But the truth is, we were all created different for a purpose. We won’t all like coffee and we will all not be leaders. We can’t all create our own fancy boxes from a few simple materials and we aren’t all going to bake every child’s birthday cake. We won’t all throw amazingly themed parties or all read every top selling book. We’re not all going to write songs or books and we’re not all going to start our own businesses. We’re not all meant to be stay at home moms and we’re not all meant to host a bible study or mom’s group. AND THAT’S OKAY.

It’s time we become aware of who we are and what that means for our lives. It’ll make life so much more enjoyable and relationships more authentic. I know it’s something that I’ll be working on – will you consider doing it too?