It’s Not There…Nor There..

As a Christian I’ve learned that the way to get answers or fix a bad mood or even just to find a little lift to a normal day, is by connecting with God. I’ve also learned that there are many ways to connect with God. Not just the traditional read the bible, pray, fast and fellowship ways…but by reading Christian blogs, meditating on devotionals, worshipping to music, staring at the sky and reading a well written Christian novel. I know from experience that I “get something” from all of the above, but it’s more fun/entertaining/interesting to choose from the second list as opposed to the first.

But what happens when you choose from the 2nd list 90% of the time? I’ve found that you end up living a bit too spiritually. It becomes very easy to come up with your own theories, meditate on certain scriptures and ignore others that are also important, become judgemental of others (specifically traditional Christians) and worst of all, you end up having a 2nd hand relationship with God and cheat yourself of the connection your soul desires.

Lately I find myself in this boat. I’m praying and reading blogs, waiting for that divine revelation. I’m praying and listening to music, waiting for that one line to bring me to tears. I’m praying and going for a walk, waiting to hear God’s voice. And sometimes it really happens that way. But I’m finding more often than not, God impressing on my heart “you won’t find it there…nor there. It’s in my word.”

Why is it so much harder to sit down and read my bible than to do any of those other things? I know the answer, yet honestly, it doesn’t often change my actions for long. I know God’s truth is within his word. I know words spoken that pertain to today are sitting in there for me to read first hand. I know learning and hearing about God are done through other people’s interpretations when you don’t go directly to the source yourself. But still, day after day, I find it hard to sit down and open my bible. But I know that when I do, oh man, I regret every other time I didn’t. I just wish that feeling would last. But no, the struggle continues.

Anyone else with me on this? I know there has to be someone out there that isn’t the perfect Christian we want everyone to think we are. Well whether you admit it or not, I just want you to know that you’re not alone. There is no perfect person and no perfect Christian. This is my weakness – admit to yourself, what’s yours?

 “As for God, His way is perfect; The word of the LORD is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in Him.” – 2 Samuel 22:31