Up to bat

Yesterday was my first day in my new position and I must say, I’m impressed. With my boss, with myself. I thought I had certain work habits, flaws and characteristics that would be hard to change. I’m afraid of speaking to new people. I prefer email over telephone. Upper management intimidates me when they catch me off guard. I’m not very friendly due to my shy tendencies. All of these “flaws” have been challenged in the past 24 hours and all of these “flaws” will soon be distant memories of the Jess that was.

I’ve realized how easy it is to sit on the side line and do what I’m comfortable with – watch the game…cheer others on…and do what I know how to do. I’ve realized how hard it is to stand up on the side line and take the first step toward the field. I’ve realized how scary it is to be walking up to bat. I’ve realized how anxious one can get when standing at the plate watching the ball floating in the air between the pitcher and yourself. But I’ve now realized how good it feels to swing the bat and to my surprise, hit the ball. The ball might not go far, but there was contact. And now it’s time to run the bases. My heart is racing with excitement and when I’m now standing safely on first base, I can’t wait for the chance to run to second.

That’s life. That’s stepping out of your comfort zone. That’s taking a chance. That’s letting go. That’s having faith. That’s making every day count. That’s living on purpose. That’s…a life changing moment.

My old boss would give me an assignment and ask me if I’m comfortable doing it or do I need someone to walk me through it. She opened the door for self doubt. She asked me if I wanted to play the game or cheer from the sideline. My new boss gave me an assignment. He gave me papers and told me to report when it’s done and sent me on my way. No chance to say “but I don’t know how” or “but I’m not sure”…”but it’s my first day…” He came up to me, handed me a bat and a helmet and said “suit up, you’re on deck.” I had no choice. And to my surprise, and probably mine only, I hit the ball. I guess that’s the difference between a coordinator and a manager. That’s how people get the corner office with a window rather than a hidden cubicle. Everyone knew I could do it except me.

I’ve learned one thing new – I’ll never know the things I can do if I never try new things.